If You Want To Sing Out, DON'T

If You Want To Sing Out, DON'T!

A couple of the guys on the Cubs decide to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, despite warnings, with hilarious/traumatizing results.

I'm turning on the way back machine because I can, and I've decided to go back to May of 2017. The idea just came to me at work. After the dismal season the Cubs had, and their uncertain future, I need to have a few laughs.

It was an off-day, and given that it was St. Louis, there wasn't a lot to do. Anthony Rizzo, Kris Bryant, Ben Zobrist, Javy Baez, Ian Happ, Kyle Schwarber, and Jake Arrieta had finished their workout, so they decided to kill some time and see a movie.

"Anything good playing?" Anthony asked as he went for his phone. Kris suggested the new Guardians of the Galaxymovie. Ben said that he had seen the first one, which was also excellent.

"So are we agreed, is it Guardians of the Galaxy?" Kyle asked everyone. Nods of assent and "yes" went around the room.

"Which showing, then?" Ian asked as he took out his smartphone and opened the Fandango app. They agreed on a time, bought their tickets, and decided to go to TGI Friday's after the movie.

* * *

"What are you guys up to?" Joe Maddon asked his players when he ran into them on their way to the theater.

"We're going to see the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie," Kris explained. He was just as excited about it as Ben.

Joe remembered when Ben saw the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie. It still haunted his nightmares. The second-baseman sang for days, loudly and off-key, to the point that he was threatened with violence.

Anthony and Jake told everyone to wait that they needed to talk to Joe real quick.

"Did Ben say that he saw the first one?" he asked his players.

"Yeah, he said that he hoped this one was just as good. Why?" Anthony asked.

"What happened afterward was a little much, to say the least," Joe explained.

"How so?" Jake asked.

Ben was singing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" after a game against Texas and was trying to rope someone into a duet. Suddenly, Grant grabbed him by his T-shirt and shoved him into his locker.

"I swear if you don't shut your gob, I'll shut it for you, you little wanker!" Grant shouted at Ben as he pushed him against his cubby. Brandon Guyer, David DeJesus, and Jose Molina, along with Joe, intervened and broke it up. David guided Ben to his locker, while Joe took Grant to his.

"What happened, Zo? You all right?" David asked his friend. They knew Grant had a temper, but no one thought he would let it out on Ben, of all people.

"Grant was a jerk. He was mad at me for singing again," Ben explained with a nod. While he was talking to his friends, Joe was dealing with the other party.

"I'll talk to Ben about the singing, okay? But that was not the way to resolve it. Do you understand?" Joe asked him. Grant responded with a nod of his own. With all of that settled, he turned to the rest of the players in the clubhouse.

"All right, then, everyone, let's cleaned up and get moving. We have a plane to catch!"

"Grant Balfour threatened to beat me up," Ben explained to Jake in a low voice, his blue eyes downcast as they walked to the theater. Anthony, Kris, Kyle, Ian, Javy, and Jake exchanged looks of shock and disgust. Why on earth would anyone want to beat up Ben, they all thought. Sure, he drove them nuts at times, they even did it to one another, but they couldn't fathom intentionally hurting him.