Wings and Hammers

3. The Proposals

From the conversation they had in the evening, it was evident that he was low on self-esteem and thought of himself as broken. On the field, she knew he was a hero. But he did depend on Levi, and his other subordinates to keep each other safe and conduct a useful expedition. And, off the field, the only place he could seek comfort was in her arms.

Back when they were younger, and had recently confessed to each other of their love, Erwin would occasionally embrace her from behind and bury his head in the crook of her neck. Breathing her scent in, he was often found shedding a drop or two of tears in the memories of the soldiers he lost.

He was a strong man, with a fiesty determination, but a kind soul. He was compelled by profession and urgency to sacrifice the lives of soldiers for the sake of the rest of humanity. In those moments when he found himself burdened by the loss of so many lives, he crawled to her in the hopes of restitution of some of his strength. He'd sit at her chamber, waiting for her to finish with the soldiers he could bring back half-alive and come to his rescue.

He often reflected on how he needed her a lot more than she needed him. On days when he had to be strong for everyone else, he knew there was one person he could be vulnerable to. And he loved her for that. And, that was why, he swore to himself to put her happiness first, even before his perennially-unfulfilled dream.

"Dr. Tubrey," the young boy from before came to their table and handed her a small note. Opening it, she saw it was in a scribbly child-like handwriting that she did not recognize.

"Aura,
I'm sorry I couldn't turn up. I got assigned a little bit of paperwork by Pixis. Please say hi to everyone for me. And, once again, I'm sorry. I love you.
Erwin."

Hange read it out aloud, after she claimed herself to be an expert at reading right-handed people's left handwriting.

"Oh my God," Sasha spilled some beer on herself, "I didn't know the Commander could be so sweet. I'm sure you can't even be mad at him, Doctor."

The party was over soon, and the elders had to carry back the drunk youngsters to the quarters. They put them up in carriages and themselves walked back. Hange was pretty drunk and comfortable walking with Moblit, while Levi walked with Aura with his hands in his pockets.

They were very close friends. Levi came into the Survey Corps just a year after she was appointed as the doctor at that regiment, but was not yet dating Erwin. After losing both his friends, Furlan and Isabel, he had followed Erwin back into duty. He soon found friendship in Aura, while the others he was in the same regiment with were either seniors, or colleagues to him. Their friendship was hand-built on their mutual obsession with cleaning, perfectionism, tea, whiskey, cigarettes, thinking Erwin was just a cinnamon roll and calling Hange 'four-eyes'.

In fact, they were such good friends and spent so much time together, there were rumors about them dating. Erwin was mortified until one day, Aura declared her feelings for him in front of her girlfriends - Hange and Nanaba - and Levi made sure he overheard.

"Hey Shorty," Aura started a conversation, "thanks for coming here tonight. I realize how much work all of you have and how tender the situation is right now. I just.."
"I know," he replied, "thanks for taking their minds off the looming failure and loss we may all have to face. Tomorrow we start training again, and you make sure all our cadets are fine. We need you, brat."

They walked in silence for a while before Aura broke it again. "I have a proposal."
"I thought that was for Erwin."
"Tch, Levi! You know you don't have to be so lame all the time."
"What is it?"

"I should probably bring this up with Hange. But seeing how drunk she is, maybe tomorrow!"

"You brought it up with me. You may as well tell me. You know it's not fair to get a man all riled up if you're not gonna finish him off."