Sweeten

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 1 - 𝘠𝘰𝘶

I blankly look at his dark hair that he pulls back, he suddenly laughs at his friends jokes, stop staring. But I can't, he makes my stomach clench with unease that makes me want to look at him more.

I know, "It's been so long get over him" But his different and sometimes I feel like it's a waste of effort, but I'm willing to wait--

"Hey, you okay?" He asks, snapping me back to reality.

"Y-yeah, just tired" I lie, he has a worried look "I slept way too late watching another episode of the 100!" I lie again.

He nods, "That's why your not saying much?"

I stutter for some reason "N-no, i'm actually--" I soon get interrupted by Racheal who acts like we weren't having a conversation.

"Noah! Hey," She smiles fakely "You sounded amazing at my little sister's party! Those vocals! I mean wow!! Your voice is so good." Racheal goes on about something about her cousin's party coming up.. Blah blah, but i tune them out. I'm not jealous, I'm annoyed.

"Ivy!" I look up, "I didn't see you there! Hey girl! Phoebe isn't here?" Since when does she care about her? I shake my head.

"You want to sit by us then?" I stop eating now, she has to be joking right? Why is she suddenly thinking I should sit her and her rude group of friends that stir up drama. Is this because of Noah? I stare at Noah, nothing.

"With you?" Racheal nods "Oh," I take a long pause, hoping I don't have to reply to her. She smiles again as if we were the best of friends, what's her deal? Then she says three words I wasn't expecting her to say I.insist.

I blink blankly "No thanks," I continue "It's nice sitting with Noah and his friends" I smile warmly.

"I can see that," She still keeps talking "Why don't I sit here for today? I mean with my friends too? I haven't had a huge conversation with you guys in so long! Especially you Ivy." I laugh in my head since elementary school when you hated me for no reason, ah yes those days.

The table agrees and it's all up to me, I'm annoyed of course but i don't have a choice. Anyways, Lunch will end soon~
...
The table is chatty filled with laughs and jokes, but on my side it's... awkward "Ivy," Chloe who is one of Rachael's best friends says "How's... everything?" All of Racheal's friends are all looking at me like I'm a spokesperson.

"Good, could do better" I reply hoping they won't stare so much. I can feel Racheal's glare "So, how long have you and Noah been friends for?" I stop myself from taking another bite of my spaghetti. Seriously what is her problem!

"For the longest...?" I feel annoyed now "Why is that important?" I spurt out.

"Just wondering, I heard your parents know each other too, like best friends right?"

I nod, I look over on the other side of the table --

"Noah is single?" a friends of Racheal asks. Why? "He hasn't dated anyone in a while right?"

Right? I chuckle Why don't you ask him those questions, She looks over for a response, "Mm".

"Mm? Is that a yes or--"

"Yes--" I finally hear the school bell, thank goodness! This will probably be the most annoyed i've ever been.
...
I hate it, I don't like how they think because I've been close friends with Noah means they can use me to get to him! Its ridiculous. Ex's after ex's, with always the questions "what does he like?, "How did his previous girlfriend treat him?", "Am i good enough for him?". I still remember an ex of his, Lillian. They both had a huge fit, and broke up. I knew about it, but to think a few days after she would spam my messages.

She demanded to know everything "where did he go? Is he cheating on me? THAT @#@@! HE IS SUCH A @#@" It went on for weeks; I had enough and called her "Stop texting me! If you really have a problem talk to him!! I'm tired of your messages!" Lillian didn't let it go, she dragged it on, messaging me with threatening comments 'Your such whore! No wonder everyone warned me about you! I didn't believe at first but I was wrong. WHORE!'

I got frustrated, and talked to Noah about it "It's getting out of control! I thought she wasn't going to do the most but--" my voice cracked holding in the tears. She took her time to message me on social media, I tried ignoring it but she got to me. "I talked to her, why is she going this far!" I heard the anger in his voice. Soon after, I never heard from her ever again.

I sigh, and close my eyes for a brief moment. Being friends with someone for almost your whole life and then I risk it because of my feelings is the most scariest thing ever! Noah and I have grown up with each of our moms being best friends, so that means where ever they go we go to. I still remember the first time I met him, I was 6 and he was 8. I thought of him as a braggy guy who enjoyed teasing me.

We grew on each other eventually. I got more comfortable with him and enjoyed his company, now that I think about it... I don't know when I started to have feelings for him. Middle school? I had butterflies in my stomach moments frequently -- I had a bullies that would find the simplist thing and made fun of. When Noah found out after lunch, he grabbed my hand and warned them to never touch me again. I don't know what he said or did, but it worked! It was the warmth of his hands that made me somewhat safe.

I enjoy being with him, the way his eyes crinkle on the side when he smiles. I love having him in my life and I want it to be like that, but I can't tell him. What if he doesnt feel the same way and I have to wake up everyday and see him? It isnt about "just tell him" anymore, it's about our friendship where we must see each other. That's the problem, it would feel like loosing a family friend.