Marvel x Male Reader (1/2)

The Avengers and their tough love lives.

Then it got worse.

Clint and Pietro actually started pranking you, egging you on your head, throwing flour at you, you were a human cake!

Steve just started flirting with you to get back at Tony, and that was awkward.

Furthermore, Thor kept on sitting 3 meters away from Bruce and the blame was thrown at you.

Deadpool wanted to spar with everybody and almost killed you twice!

The only good part about this is that this One-Shot might actually be 3000 words long if everyone keeps on being such idiots.

Peter was genuinely scared that Wade would kill him during an "encounter".

Tony: Hey, pretty boy, so much try as to touch Steve and I will kill you.

You: You're a hypocrite, you know that? Didn't he dump you?

Tony: No, because he's mine and mine alone.

You: Dude, what is up with your personality. First, you're homophobic, then you're a rapist, and now you're a...manizer.

Tony: I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but don't you dare touch him.

You walk up to Steve, rub around his pec while staring at him intensely, and then just walk away.

Bruce: Thor, come here,it's fine.

Thor: No. You are my boyfriend not my snake.

Bruce: And I want my boyfriend to *whispers of the naughty, children beware*.

Thor: WHAT A SPLENDID ACTIVITY! I SHALL INDEED GET THE WHIPPED CREAM!

You: I'm gonna go masturbate.

Wade: Hey Peter, wanna fuck?

Peter: No wade what the hell?!

Wade: It's better than killing people.

Peter: You'll kill ME!

Wade: Oh come on, my dick is not THAT big.

You: But your ego is.

Steve: Hey Y/N, umm...look I know that Tony...

You: Let me guess, you wanna fuck me?

Steve: No,no, I was thinking maybe a...date?

You: Clint and Pietro didn't put you up to this, did they?

Steve: What? No no I just I want someone who maybe won't cheat on me, who thinks that maybe I'm worth exclusivity.

You: You are but I'm not the right guy for you and vice versa, you'll find someone, I promise.

Steve: Thank you, also Clint is behind you.

Clint: You just got pied, bitch!

You: I'm gonna get you back for that.

Pietro: No you won't.

You: "Clint can't take the hint
Let everything he consumes taste like  peppermint.

And let's not forget about Pietro
Who,for a day, will go retro."

Pietro's clothes transformed into a cowboy's outfit and his phone turned into a gun.

Whereas Clint's tongue was feeling the
taste of his least favourite candy, peppermint, at the hands of his own saliva.

You: Do not swallow the cum when you suck his dick, Clint. Oh wait, you can't; Pietro is no longer demisexual until the curse is lifted.

Clint: This is just mean...ew.