| Jasper |

Blinded

It was too dark to see. He was right. I should've come earlier. I had forgotten how when you didn't have a torch the atmosphere and tall trees swallowed you whole. Nights of hide and seek, reminding me of how it was as though you went blind during the hours past dinner.

Jasper has asked me to go with him. I was busy I said. However I found myself walking into the depths in search of our childhood house. I suppose it wasn't that long ago that we all sat around a table discussing our days. It felt like decades. Day in and day out, it was mundane. I guess I wanted change, although it wasn't what I wanted, it got me away from it. The routine, the belief that even if I wanted to make a difference, I could never become what I aspire to be. Naive. That's what I was when I thought leaving my town would change anything.

The leaves crushed beneath my feet as I made my way down to what I came here for. A rusty car which could go no more than a millimeter. I stumbled when the ground unevened by branches. My hands fell on the car, my car... Uncovering the car with only one persons' strength was difficult, where was he?

I made my way over to the side of the car, ripping open the door with unexpected ease. Hours and nights used to be spent in the seats, tired gazes looking through the windows up at the stars. Jasper and I hung fairy lights lining the edges of everything.

"It's pretty," he'd say, "I think we should keep it."

Blankets were thrown across the floor some nights as we laid there. This time truly speaking about our days. "Home away from home." Jasper would say, I laughed noting the cheesiness of the phrase.

"Do you think we can stay here forever?"

Pulled out from my thoughts, he had startled me as he yanked open the frame and plonked down in the space beside me.

"What's got you in a daze?" He gleamed.

Fake I'd say. He never looked at me properly. His gaze never meeting my eyes.

"Not thinking about old times are ya?"

I let out a breath. "You'd be dreaming."

"...Well good."

I looked over to find an older version of my little brother. His hair everywhere and his presence bolder.

"We ready to throw this hunk of junk out?"

Nights spent in the back of my car seems to drift past, tender looks thrown around like bills from a rich man, strung so high up he didn't see the gun pointed at his head and his stacks of cash being taken.

"Do you really think it will be okay?"

"Jasper, when have I ever lied to you?"

"Do you promise?" He'd ask.

"Promise" with so much conviction in my voice, he was content. I don't think we expected it when we fell off the ladder after climbing so high.

"No." I need to stop.

"What? This is what we came here for!"

"We should fix it." Maybe I'm insane, He would never agree, I would never agree.

"...Fix it?" He forced out, "how in the world can we fix this." he questioned turning around, his eyes staring into mine. I realised it then, that we both had blades in our guts, clamping onto the handle plunged at ourselves.

Strung too high.

"We'll fix it, together..."

"Okay...promise?"

"Promise."