The pain was unbearable. I cried and kicked at nothing. Flailing like a fish out of water. The monster brought its blade away from my exposed and now bloody belly.
The beast raised its hand high and was about to plunge the blade into my flesh one last time-
Before I woke up screaming. My room was dark and when the arms wrapped around me I fought them off, crying and sobbing. "Shhhh! Calm down Shiggy! Your okay." Dabi's voice rang in my ears.
'It's just Dabi. Dabi is the one who is in my room. Dabi is the one with his arms around my waist. It's Dabi. Not the monster.'
I began to calm down instantly. "D-Dabi." I spoke in a puny voice. My throat was raw from screaming. "Yeah, yeah it's me." I gripped his bare arms and buried my face in his t-shirt.
I was crying like a child who had lost their mother in a grocery store, but I didn't care. I felt I had the right to cry. My belly and throat still felt like they had been stabbed. The memory of the lucid dream implanted into my brain.
Brain.
Ugh. The monsters hideous self popped into my min making me sob again. Dabi ran his fingers through my hair and began to speak, "Tomura, your okay. It's all in your head. Your okay."
I shook my head 'No'. He pulled away. "What do you mean? It's all in your head Tomura. It's just a dream. It can't hurt you."
I shook my head again. "N-no. Your wrong. It's not just a dream. It's a lucid dream, Dabi. They are so much worse-" I grabbed my throat rubbing it slightly. "I-i can feel everything. I can feel falling and scraping my knee, I can feel the burn in my legs, I can feel the knife-" I shivered and Dabi's face dropped.
"Tomura, is this why you aren't sleeping? Your having these nightmares?" I nodded. He pulled me into another hug. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" He asked.
"No one cares enough to do anything about it." I grumbled. "I did something, I woke you up, didn't I?" I nodded once more. "Why where you in my room?" I asked. He shrugged, "I wanted to make sure you slept." "Oh..." was all I could say.
We sat i silence before I leaned my head oh is shoulder, "I-It hurts. It hurts to sleep." He sighed and positioned me on his lap so that my back was to him and my head was resting on his chest.
"It hurts to do a lot of things. Both physically and mentally. It hurts to eat. It hurts to drink. It can hurt to breathe. It can hurt to walk or move. Hell, it hurts to love. The one thing you wouldn't expect to be painful, the thing that should make all of the bad go away, can hurt us the most." I glance up at him. He had a sad look in his radiating teal eyes. I've never seen him this vulnerable.
"So... what's your advice? That mostly mandatory things in life can be painful? That all these things hurt but I have to suck it up and do it?" My voice quivered a bit.
He looked down at me. "No. I'm simply pointing out that there is pain in everything. We can't escape it." "Oh..."
"However-" He said while shifting his weight a bit. "We can find things that make the pain go away for a bit. When it hurts to eat or drink, we can use tools to help us remember that it only hurts for a bit, and that we are perfect. When it hurts to breath, we can calm ourselves down. When it hurts to walk, we relax our muscles, and when it hurts to love... we love again."
His words where making me drowsy, I pinched myself and remembered the nightmare. "Why do we love again? Why don't we just die alone and cold?" He chuckled a bit. "Love can break you, but it can also fix you." I sighed. "I don't think love is what hurts you," I started. Dabi raises an eyebrow, "oh?"
I shifted in his lap and got more comfortable. "Y-yeah... I think it's pain. Pain that has masked itself in love. Maybe the love faded into pain, but it's not love if it hurts."
He pondered on this for a bit. "Ya know what, I think your right." I smiled at his approval.
I yawned again and whined a bit. I really didn't want to sleep. Dabi must be able to read minds because he hugged me close, making me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside, and whispered into my ear, "go to sleep Tommi. I'll protect you."
With Dabi's words in mind I began to nod off.
I finally fell into a deep slumber and began to dream.
Only this dream was not scary. It was calming. I felt like was floating on a cloud. The only thing I remember physically feeling, where strong arms wrapped around my torso.
A/N: Hey guys, sorry it takes so long for me to update this goddamn book. It's not that I don't like writing it- I'm simply to depressed to :)
Please feel free to leave a request too. I love writing and making stories, but I have bad writers block. You can leave and type of story too; I'd prefer it be Angsty or Fluffy since that is my strong suit, but I don't mind doing smut or crack.
Anyway I hope you liked this, and yeah I meant for it to be fluffy and cute- but I'm pretty sure I failed :/ like wtf, can I for once not be such a depressed bitch?
Kinda! You can go check out my book >>KiriBaku Oneshots<< where I write:
•smut
•fluff
And •crack (apparently- again if you are here after reading that book I am so sorry for the last chapter)
But yeah I'm not much better at writing in that book as I am in this one XP
Anyway, Author-Chan out 🤘
Pain Masked As Love
Start from the beginning
