Random Poems

~Reflections~

I hate my appearance
down to the very genetic code.
Not because I'm 'fat' or 'ugly'
I hate my appearance because
my reflection is a constant reminder
of the hells I've been put through.
I'm not talking about scars or stretch marks.
I'm talking about the DNA within me.
There are strands I want to pick out like weeds
just to have a sense of clarity.

My reflection is a bad person.
A person who has put me through so much.
A person who has taken so much from me.
I fear that the Genetics will take over and I will form into the same grim person.
I fear that we're more alike than I'd wish.

I see it when I wear my hair a certain way, that glimpse in my eye that reflects theirs.
My heart sinks and I want to scream.
I cannot escape the fact that I am their blood, I am their genetics,
and I am a mini version of them.

Maybe my reflection will
be kinder one day.
Maybe it will learn to smile
without that sparkle.
Maybe she can learn to be different.
I hold onto the hopes that I can change, but seeing their face when trying to find mine makes me lose hope.

It's a constant reminder of the things they said, the empty promises, fake smiles, and two faced nature towards
those they love.
I'm afraid of my reflection.

I hope that one day this can change.
I hope one day I can see the beauty
people say I have,
but it is hard to find beauty In a
monster in the light of day.