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thirteen

"i'm going out for awhile,"

haerin's eyes travel from the fashion catalog to the lousy-dressed yeoreum standing at the front door.

"where are you heading?" haerin asks, full of worries.

"just to get some fresh air." yeoreum replies shortly before the doorknob is twisted, door is pushed and she hagardly steps out of the house.

as the door closes slowly and locks by itself, a heavy sigh escapes haerin's lips.

"she hadn't been herself lately... poor my yeoreum..."

at the outside, gentle wind passes by making the wisps of yeoreum's long hair to sweep along her cheeks and neck, causing her to slightly shiver. so, she fastens her brown locks into a ponytail, pulls out the hoodie and covers her head, inserting her hands into the pocket to gain some warmth and she continues to walk down the street with a pair of airpods attached to her ears.

the only audible thing that fills the silence of the night are the repetitive sound of yeoreum's footsteps compiled with her soft hummings of bruno major's slow track titled, easily. she almost feels at ease, almost, when sudden noises promptly terminates her serenity me-time.

as a monstrous crowd of people at the side of a terrace shop catches her attention, yeoreum takes out the left side of her airpod, keeping it inside its case and lets the right one to keep blasting her favourite playlist while she draws herself nearer to the crowd.

"is that kookheon?"

"gosh, byungchan and jinhyuk!"

"they are hanging out together! so cute..."

now yeoreum realises that the presence of the three well-known boys from the survival show produce x 101 is the reason behind the existence of this group of jumpy humans. many pairs of arms are raised up, phones and cameras in each grip, attempting to take some footages of the trainees.

"i heard that seungyoun and yuvin are supposed to be with them?"

"oh, yes! where are they?"

"where are seungyoun and yuvin?"

like a gush of thunder dazes her inner thoughts, yeoreum instantly goes dumbfounded upon listening to the girls' short conversation. a sense of timid and doom overwhelm herself as she tries to stay in composure, at the same time getting some self-control from the excitedly-chaotic fans around her.

"i need to get out of here," yeoreum whispers to herself, eyebrows knitted in agitation.

she doesn't want to accidentally bump onto that boy, which could happen any minutes from now.

she isn't ready for that yet, after she and seungyoun disconnected themselves from communicating for almost 2 weeks.

not even a single text was shared between them. after everything were spilled, they began to act like they are strangers, strangers that know each other so well.

little did she knows, someone has been eyeing her from afar.

struggling to get herself out of the exuberant crowd, yeoreum moves in between the people not like pebbles in a jar, but like water molecules smoothly passing one another.

despite of how busy the street was, yeoreum finally succeeds in pushing her way out of the throng. she exhales in relief as she takes a last glance at the trainees before carrying on with her lone walk.

but that doesn't stop there.

yeoreum is about to go when her eyes unexpectedly meets a pair of darker ones that she has been desparately wanted to avoid to look at to.

with a black shirt covering his body frame, loose pants and a sling bag hanging upon his shoulder, seungyoun pulls down his mask when the girl that he really misses to talk to has appeared in front of his eyes.

both of them are just standing there, aimlessly, did not even move a muscle. it feels like the time has stopped, heartbeats go loud, thoughts go wild, whole world collapses.

"seungyoun..." she mumbles under her breathe.

"yeoreum..." he calls out her name inaudibly.

they stay like that for a quiet few minutes, not until a girl pushes yeoreum out of the scene, and two, three, four and more to come, brushing their shoulders against yeoreum as they gather around seungyoun and the other boy; yuvin, his friend that accompanies him at that time.

the fans, as usual, begin to take pictures and videos of the two trainees, and it makes yeoreum to flinch at that sight. she grits her teeth, clenching her fists as her eyes try to search any signs of seungyoun in between the crowd.

and bingo, their eyes connect again.

affection and mirth dance in their exchanging strong gazes.

he turned crimson, she turned scarlet.

when yeoreum realises that seungyoun is already surrounded by tenths of fans and he might be more focused in greeting all of them, she takes a final glimpse of the boy, sending a faded gloomy smile even though yeoreum knows seungyoun will not see it anyway, before she walks away leaving the street with tears tickling down her cheeks bit by bit.

seungyoun meanwhile, barely holding himself to not keep laying his eyes on yeoreum, only to notice that yeoreum has left the place already. he lets out a small groan, feeling frustrated to not be able to look at her face for one last time. all he can do is staring at yeoreum's figure slowly disappearing into the darkness of the night, with heart shattering to tiny pieces.

they indeed said goodbye long ago, but their heart doesn't want to let each other go.

© younreumie