Summertime In Your Backyard

Chapter 1

Today is the last day that I'll ever be able to walk down these halls as a high school student. The idea of graduating in just a few hours sends a shock through my body and tears to my eyes. Staying fairly composed over the past few weeks has been tough but who knew that today would be the day I broke in front of everyone. I already knew my cohort didn't like me but the fact that I was sobbing while walking through the school during recess while everyone just stared reinforced it. I have to make my way to the school's 'Safe Place' which is essentially a room for the mentally ill and/or disabled children to calm down before the awards ceremony later that afternoon. Here is where I have spent a large portion of my high school career. I've stared at the uncomfortable purple walls and sickening neon green carpet for too many hours, counting bricks and taking in the dust from the sky-light. 

I walk in and Emily, one of the 'Safe Place' coordinators, is sitting at her desk happily typing away. She notices me, gives me a sympathetic nod that makes her short pink waves bounce and continues to type. I sit on the lumpy grey couch and let the tears flow until they naturally just stop. By this time the bell's gone for third period which means time for the ceremony.

You'll be ok, I think to myself. The end of school doesn't mean the end of the world. plus, you'll be back in a few weeks to finish your final exams so it's not a big deal. I take three deep breaths and wash my face before making myself a part of the crowd on their way to the Hall. You should have nominated to go up with someone, dumbass. You're gonna fall over or everyone going to realise you have no friends and everyone hates you or they're gonna say your name wrong or the whole-

"Hey! Where the fuck have you been all morning?" I'm startled by Eden's booming voice in my ear. "I texted you a million times do you seriously not use your phone?"

I unlock my phone to see 10 missed calls and 40 texts, all from Eden.

"Sorry, I was going through it for a bit," I reply shakily. "I'm good now though so don't worry." I plaster on a quick smile and he smiles back. 

"OK good cause we have a school to graduate from. See you in there!" He winks and bites his tongue as he skips backwards and turns around to join his friends. Eden is the only person at this school who I felt like I've really connected with. There was one other girl, Sarah, who became a bit... toxic and moved to the city with her boyfriend. Our friendship didn't last the year. There was Logan, who I still talk to now and then but he dropped out to be a chef months ago. We don't hang out much anymore.  I've had close friends at my previous schools but since I've been moving every other year I don't tend to hold onto them. Maybe I should talk to my therapist about that.

The hall is crowded. And when I mean crowded I mean there are parents standing five meters outside the door crowded. The whole school is here along with what seems to be every single seniors family and their dog. Not even joking there is a dog barking somewhere. I shuffle through the hundreds of bodies and chairs to find my assigned seat up the front. I've always been pretty much in the centre of all roles with a last name starting with H. Hasn't bothered me yet and probably never will. I feel bad for the kids with A's, B's and W's because they either always the first or always the last. H is a happy medium. 

A few seats to my left is Eden who's frantically waving his arm at me to get my attention. I throw him a quick thumbs up and he smiles back at me. His friends are pulling him away and whispering in his ear. He winks again before turning back to them. It's only then I notice he's sitting next to the year groups resident weirdo: Phil Lester. Everyone thought we were secret lovers for a brief period of time (and by that I mean like a whole year) even though I've never even spoken to the guy. He's been in my english class every year since the beginning of high school. He's not smart enough to be noticed but not dumb enough for the lower english class. Sometimes the teacher reads out his essays as an example and I can see him internally scream from behind his jet black, straightened side fringe. I guess you could say he's 'The Emo' in our year group.

The Principal Dr. Bennett takes the stage and stands at the podium. He makes a (not to subtle) cough into the microphone which bring the white noise of the hall to a screeching halt. He smiles that cocky smile he does every time he makes the room silent and begins the assembly. 

"Students, parents, teachers and esteemed guests, welcome to our Year 12 graduation ceremony for the class of 2015. I would like to thank you all for coming today and give a special thanks to..."

His voice drops off as my mind begins spiralling. His voice always seems to have that affect on me. I begin thinking about what I'm going to do after this; after the ceremony but also after school. After it's all over. I already have college set up, I've gotten all the scores I needed throughout the year so the final exams should be a breeze. I'm more worried about the social aspect, or lack of it. All summer I'll be sitting in my room watching boring anime's or doing work for my granny but I predict that not a single person will ask me to hang out during the like 4-5 month break we have before classes start again. Eden and Logan will message me on Facebook but they never actually want to hang out. Whenever I've managed to muster up enough courage to make the first move they've both either made several excuses or just completely flaked. It's a bit humiliating to be waiting outside the cinema by yourself for an hour with two movie tickets and a large coke that the cashier convinced you to buy and you were to shy to say no so you just wasted $10 on a drink that you don't even like.

Thinking back on that memory sparks the flood gates again but I'm taken out of my dream-state because everyone around me is moving towards the door that leads backstage. Luckily we're already in alphabetical order or getting into order would have been a disaster on it's own. 200 students just physically cannot fit into the tiny backstage area so we're spilling back out into the aisles. One by one, each person (or group, because that's a thing they let us do) walks up the the podium and shakes like five different peoples hands whom at least three of I've never seen in my life, and accept their certificate of achievement. There's a lot of screaming and cheering for the more popular people and quiet claps for the nerds and losers, like me. Eventually we're through to E, then F, then G, then-

"Danielle Howell"

The crowd erupts in laughter.