Colour My Thoughts

Sky Searching

Looking into his deep pools of rich honey brown eyes looking back into my dark cold one was never a struggle.
Even with my icy gaze he still found a spark of fire that glistened ever so slightly within me.
From the moment I met him my heart seemed like it was melting, learning.
Some how getting over the past pulling me from my cob webs of fear that I seemed to be tangled in, never fully free which was the beginning to the end right there.
That was then, this is now, same song though?
I've realized that lately my vision has been failing me.
Everyday is blurrier than an unfocused polaroid picture.
Where my eyes should be is puddles of salty regrets to my own misery.
Dripping , leaking worse than a three time "fixed"forever broken and unfaithful kitchen sink.
I find myself tilting my flooded head with a drowning mind toward the sky searching between the nostalgic lines of clouds.
As if all the answers to my questions would come pouring down and replace theses tears with a wave of relief and self acceptance.
The only thing that comes down is the salty drops that seemed to break the surface tension faster and swifter than a freshly sharpened knife.
Have you ever gone sky searching just like sky diving just in reverse; it's the thought that everything would be fixed just by being up there and never having to come back down but in reality it's coming down on you.