7 weeks later
" babe come on" jahseh said knocking on the door
I quickly put my bottle of Paul mason under the sink and closed the cabinet
I haven't been the same since ranza died I use drinking to help soothe my pain ... of course I have to do it in secret cause jahseh will throw a fit if he found out .. everyone in the house has been effected since that day we don't really leave out the house no more and we really don't talk to each other like that
Well today is the funeral and that's where we're going I don't want to go because why would I want to see my best friend dead she can't talk to me and if I talk to her she won't understand but I'm going anyways just to see her face one more time
" okay I'm coming" I said grabbing my tooth brush and putting toothpaste on it so the scent of alcohol won't be smelt
After I finished brushing my teeth I walked out the bathroom
" you ready you was taking forever" he said laughing a little
I learned to control how I act so it's pretty easy hiding it but I still feel woozy and stuff like that
" umm yea my makeup duhh" I said laughing " gotta get pretty" I said making duck lips and putting the peace sign up
" you don't even got make up on" he said laughing
Oh shit whoops
" my eyebrows and lashes and lipgloss that takes time" I said feeling my face
He looked at me strange before laughing
" come on let's go" he said reaching out his hand for mine
————
The church was packed I saw all of ranza family and friends
I sat in the back because I didn't want to see my unresponsive best friend like I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye
I watched as her mother went up to the casket and shook her head and started crying and screaming
I could not take it
" I'll be back" I said grabbing my bag and leaving through the back doors so I could go to the bathroom
I went in a stall and dug through my purse
I knew I had a small bottle of Paul mason in my bag
Once I found it I popped the top and drunk it like it was nothing
I took a minute before leaving the stall and popping a piece of gum in my mouth
I checked myself to see if I looked straight before I went back inside
I made a mistake and stumbled into the bathroom door while walking out and it made me laugh out loud
After about a minute I got up and walked back in
" why you smell like that" jahseh whispered while smelling me
" smell like what" I asked looking at him laughing a little
He was about to take another sniff
" the family would like her best friend winter to come up here and give a few words"
I stood up and stumbled over jahseh and made my way to the front
I grabbed the microphone and stood there
I cleared my throat before talking
" hello everyone" I said smiling
" ranza was a sweet and wonder ful person to me she was like a sister a person who was there for me threw everything a person who I could depend on a person who I could trust ... it's going to be hard to go on without her because she ment so much to me but she gave us a gift a cute ass ... a cute baby boy" I said before stepping down from the stand
I went back to my seat and leaned my head on jahseh shoulder
—-
After the funeral
We all decided not to go the the repass because it's to hard for us to deal with so we all went home
I sat on the bed watching Caroline with jahseh
" I miss her" I mumbled
" we all do" he said back
" it's not fair why her out of all people" I said shaking my head
" we all die one day it was just her time" he said looking at me
——
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