Dear C,
I think about you every single day. The simplest things cause my mind to wander to you and it reminds me of the gaping hole in my heart. My mind starts to come up with all the scenarios that I wish came true instead of what happened to you.
A week before my birthday, I suppose life caught up to you. I wish I was there to talk you out of doing it. I wish I was there to hug you and remind you how precious you are. You lived in the neighborhood behind Starbucks and we talked about meeting there once. It never happened, but every time I drive by that place, I think of you.
I wish I could tell you how much I admired you. Your gentle spirit and your calming presence. You didn't talk much. When you did, everyone around couldn't help but laugh at how hilarious you were. And that smile of yours. That's all I can really picture when I think of you. No one else had a smile like that. It was beyond contagious, C. I like to imagine you smiling in Jesus' presence.
When they told me you read your Bible every night during the last few weeks of your life, that broke me in ways I can't fully explain. It also gave me an unusual wave of peace. I truly hope you came to know Jesus as your savior as you read God's words on the pages of that book. Hearing that only makes me want to tell everyone the Good News so they can have hope of a better tomorrow. I hope you're experiencing that right now.
There's so much I want to tell you and so much I wish I did. Things have not been the same without you. Sometimes, I wonder if I can think and pray hard enough to bring you back. I know I can't, but I hope to see you one day.
I love you and miss you, Silent Warrior. I'm choosing to remember the good you brought into my life and the lesson learned from losing you.
Love, Tay from youth group ♥️
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You're never too far gone. Someone is always willing to help you. Please, say something. There is no shame in admitting you need help.
