Defeated

Chapter 8

"Oh, Peter." She sighs, sympathetically. "You must be absolutely exhausted."

"Too right." He mumbles. "But how dare I moan about being tired when she's going through all this! I'm ridiculous!"

He swiftly moves to the kitchen area, leaving forwards on the kitchen counter and taking a series of deep breaths.

"You're going though this too, Peter. You're not weak, this affects you too because you love her. You can't stand watching her like this, feeling completely helpless and also taking care of rent and everything else. Remember I'm here for you, Carla has you to lean on but you need someone too." She explains. "I told you the day of Carla's op, let it out to me."

"I've not even seen Simon for god knows how long!" He cries.

"How abouts, I take Carla to mine for a gossip whilst you just sleep and rest."

"I don't know...I don't want to leave her."

"I'll keep an eye on her, Peter. You know that." She replies.

"She might not want to leave this place feeling so ill."

"I'm sure the fresh air will help her. I'll go in to speak to her now and see if she's up to it."

"Hey you." Michelle smiles, sitting on the edge of Carla's bed.

"What are you doing here?" She croaks.

"Oh, lovely. Just wondering if you wanted to come to mine for a bit of a natter, food, drinks-..."

"Can't drink." She interrupts, bluntly.

"Soft drinks"

"Why? Chelle, I've just had chemo and want to stay in bed."

"Come on, it'll make you feel better. You can even just rest in my bed if you want."

"Your bed? The bed you share with Robert? No thanks." She grimaces.

"Oh, come off it. Not as if you've not been there before!"

"Hey!" Carla gently shoves her. "Enough of that. And it wasn't even in 'his bed'."

"I've missed this." Michelle chuckles. "Come to mine just for a little bit and if you're not up for it then I'll take you home."

"Okay, okay!" Carla gives in.

Later that day, Carla and Michelle sit in her flat laughing like the old days.

"I don't think you realise how awkward it was for me when I had to tell Alya about the catering course. Flamin 'ell that one likes a bit of drama, doesn't she?" Michelle laughs.

"Oh, not her." Carla groans. "Your Ryan is bad with choosing women."

"To be honest, that still baffles me." The younger brunette shakes her head in confusion.

"That girl thinks everything's about her, she's so spoilt."

"You're so right. I did feel bad...a little bit."

"No you did not, you big liar!" Carla giggles.

"Ugh, I look so rough." She adds, catching her reflection in a small mirror.

"No you don't! Wish I could look that good going through Chemo..."

"Chelle, we said we wouldn't mention that" she rolls her eyes.

"I know, sorry."

"It's okay. Have you got a hair brush? I haven't brushed this mess for ages. Bed hair or what!"

"Yeah, there you go." Michelle hands her a brush.

As Carla brushes through her hair a few times, her heart almost stopped atogether.

Looking down, their was a small clump of her raven locks.

Her breathing quickens as she grabs the hair and holds it in her hand, hoping Michelle hadn't seen it.

But she had.

"Car?" She whispers, her eyes glistening.

"Are you okay?" She adds, watching her best friends lip tremble, her eyes scanning around the room so they don't catch onto Michelle's.

"Fine."

"I saw your hair, Car." Michelle says, quietly.

"I should be getting back, Peter would be worrying." She tries to stand but Michelle gently holds her wrist, preventing her from doing so.

"Darling, theirs no need to feel embarrassed or anything."

Carla turns her head, biting her bottom lip.

"Speak to me."

"I just...I don't know." She whispers.

"You don't know what, babe?" She rubs her back.

"I...I don't want my hair to fall out. I don't want Peter falling out of love with me." She cries.

"Oh, come here." Michelle hugs her, a tear running down her cheek as well as Carla's.

"I mean...he cheated on me when I was looking fine and now I'm here, ill and loosing my hair, what's to say he wouldn't do it again?"

"Babe, he has changed now. He would never ever do anything like that again, bet my life on it. I've never seen love like yours."

"I hope you're right. It's just...it's just hard not thinking the worst."

"I completely understand that. You really have nothing to worry about in that department though, alright? And you never know, that might be all that comes out."

"Yeah..." Carla sniffs. "Look, can you not tell Peter about this. It's just...I'd prefer keeping it private."

"But he's your boyfriend-..."

"Please, Chelle. For me."

"Awh, hey guys." Peter greets the two women as they enter the flat. "How are you, beautiful?"

"I'm okay." She mutters, walking into the bedroom and slamming the door.

"Did something happen?" Peter frowns.

"Well, she noticed that her hair...her hair was falling out and you know what she's like, immediately got defensive and upset that you wouldn't love her anymore. Brought up Tina and everything." Michelle explains.

"Oh, god." He looks down. "I was waiting for something like this to happen."

"Look, I'm gonna see her if that's okay?" He adds.

"Oh yeah, sure. I'll let myself out. Oh and by the way, she didn't want me telling you but I thought I'd better." She smiles.

"Hey, Car?" He knocks on the bedroom door, letting himself in.

"What?"

"Just wanted to know how you're doing, you seem down."

"I think you'd be down if you had cancer, Peter."

"I was talking to-..."

"Oh. I guess Michelle filled you in about how my hair is falling out. Great." She sarcastically says, pulling up the duvet further up.

"Yeah, she did. But it's not the end of the world. I'll love you no matter what you look like."

"Easier said than done."

"You might not even loose all of it, it might just start thinning." He says, optimistically.

"I'd rather it all stay on my head."

"What would you rather have then? Loosing some of your hair or still having cancer and you know..."

"I tell you what I'd rather have, I'd rather not be in this situation. Now if you don't mind, I want to be left on my own." She snaps.

"Okay. We've got your apportionment tomorrow so we'll bring it up then." He says, before leaving Carla alone.

"Yippee, another doctors appointment." She grunts to herself as a tear escapes her eye.

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