SO I WROTE A LETTER! ☆ james potter x fem! reader ✓

004 :::: the kiss

"Pardon me?"

You grabbed Sirius' tie and pulled him back towards you, kissing him and praying that James and Lily saw, only wanting them to feel pain. It felt so wrong, like such a lie, but in that moment the only thing you wanted to do was make them regret their own kiss.

. . .

[ james' pov ; a few minutes ago. ]

. . .

"You're telling me you made Sirius a 'kiss list'?" Lily asked skeptically as the two made their way to the courtyard to meet up with the others.

"Yes, he's already done all the Hufflepuffs." James shrugged.

"I can't believe it." She huffed, to his surprise.

"What? Lily, Sirius kisses all the girls. That's just how he rolls."

"But— still." She said quietly.

James paused for a brief moment. Wait wait wait, did she have a crush on Sirius, or was she just saying that it was unfair to the others? He couldn't tell.

He looked at her to try to get some answers, but her face was strangely blank. In fact, he had never seen Lily Evans, a girl who was full of raw emotion, seem so dull.

Is that the number one rule for girls? James thought bitterly, that boys will just never understand them?

"Oh my god."

James turned— Y/N was kissing Sirius.

He felt my heart plummet to his feet, color draining from his face. An onslaught of thoughts crashed into him, but the most prominent one never left him. Sirius was supposed to be there for him.

He didn't put Y/N on the list for that exact reason, nor Lily. James played with his hands, becoming somewhat hysterical within the comfort of his mind. Maybe Peter had added her by accident— no, Sirius would've known, right?

How could she be kissing him? Sure, Sirius flirted with her a lot, but he flirts with all the girls. That's in his nature. And Y/N had always shut him down, every time. This didn't make any sense.

He felt a tug on the back of his shirt and was face to face with the worst Lily of all— the determined Lily.

She looked very upset, but even more determined than ever to do whatever she was about to do.

And suddenly, her lips were pressed against his.

He was kissing Lily. It was a dream come true.

Or was it?

It didn't feel as good as he thought it would, more out of spite than anything. Plus, there was this sudden grotesque feeling growing in his stomach. He didn't want to be rude to Lily, but he kind of felt like he was kissing his cousin: gross, definitely not wanted, and wrong.

Then, the worst happened: Y/N and Sirius pulled apart, and the two saw everything.

He wanted nothing more in that moment then to off himself. The look in her eyes alone was enough to make him feel terrible.

But it was her fault, he argued in his head, and that feeling grew even stronger once she kissed Sirius all over again.

. . .

[ your pov. ]

. . .