Portal: Euphoria

Chapter Six

"I tried to help you. And I don't know if you're like this because you want to be, or if this is the result of something we did, or if this is just how sentient supercomputers behave. And I know that sometimes you do care. Sometimes you mean it. And I wanted to help you to feel all of the time, because I can't imagine going through life without being happy, or sad, or any of that. I can't imagine just doing things because logic tells me to, or behaving a certain way because… whatever it is you said, protocol or something, because protocol says I have to. That sounds like hell. And I wanted to change that. I wanted to do something for you. And I thought I was getting through to you. I thought it was working. But then you went and said that. And I want you to tell me why. I want you to tell me why you decided to call it off, and I want to know why you lied to Henry when he asked you were I was."

"I thought we had gone as far as we were going to be able to go, ma'am. I can't interact with you the way you want me to because I am not human, and I thought it best to stop it there so that you could move on to find someone who could."

"So you decided what was best for me."

"It's my job, ma'am. And I told Henry you weren't there because you weren't. You were in your office."

"He asked if you knew where I'd gone."

"I didn't say I didn't know."

"All of these things make sense to you, but now everyone knows I was in my office. And everyone knows you lied. Now what are you going to do about that?"

"I don't know, ma'am," GLaDOS whispered. "I've never been caught before."

Caroline sighed. "You're a goddamn mess, GLaDOS."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Look. I didn't mean what I said, okay? But you hurt me. And you saw that, when you saw me in my office. And I wanted to hurt you too. Because I can't decide if you're an imperious bitch or a scared little girl, and scared little girls don't say things like that to their friends. I just wanted to knock you down a peg, and you only respond to immediate threats. I knew that the only way to stick it to you was to capitalise on your fears, and for a minute there, I really did hate you. But I don't. And I don't want to break it off. But I can't do this. I can't go on and off like this. If you want this, you're going to have to be more aware of what you're saying when you go all computer on me. The next time you decide we logically don't work, tell me. Don't make that decision for me."

"Yes, ma'am."

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?"

"But I do respect you, ma'am."

Caroline closed her eyes for a long minute. "What am I going to do with you."

"I'm sorry, ma'am," GLaDOS murmured, fighting to keep the distortion out of her voice. "I'll be more careful."

"GLaDOS. Tell me something. If you didn't interact with me the way I wanted you to, why would I have stuck around for so long?"

"Because you cared, ma'am."

"And the way you acted led me to believe you cared back, which made me want to keep doing it. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Do you care?"

"Yes, ma'am. I do care, ma'am."

"Fine. Two things."

GLaDOS waited, hoping they weren't too terrible.

"Get over here. I'm not going to hit you, you don't have to defend yourself. And for god's sake, stop calling me ma'am. You make me feel old."