Darkness can be your friend

Hard to wake up

Sometimes, it's hard to wake up. Not for the reasons most people automatically think of, not for mental reasons. But for physical ones. Castiel had a hard time waking up. Hell, he had a hard time realizing he was awake. Everything was constantly black, because Castiel, was blind.

He was blind for the better part of his whole life. The doctors haven't found a cause. He just woke up on his 3rd birthday and couldn't see. Since then, his house has been completely changed, everything had to be safe, things had to be far apart, and soft. There was no tile, in case he fell. Nothing was ever on the floor, because he could trip. Cas had told his mother constantly that he would live if he tripped on one of his baby sisters toys, but she wasn't having it. Everything stayed in her room.

He had long since forgotten what his mother looked like. All he has is the general idea, from when he was little and would trace her face with his hands. He asked her what her hair looked like, and she had to describe it in detail, because it was hard to imagine what color was which, even with his teacher helping. From what he gathered, his mom had dark hair, just a few shades lighter than what he saw on a daily basis. Her eyes were a shiny color, that looked like water tasted and how winter felt. Icy and sharp. She had told him that he had the same eyes and hair as her, and he would often play with his hair, and pretend that he could see it. His teacher said his hair was black.

The town he lived in had no school for the blind. He went to a public high school, because his family could not afford to make time for home schooling. He took classes with a teacher who taught only him, since there were no other blind kids at school. She taught him how to read Braille, how to draw without seeing, and many other things that only she could teach him. She said she had eyes the color of when you dig up a patch of earth, when you smell the musky scent of an untouched forest, the feel of tree bark on the underside of your hand. She said her eyes were brown, and her hair matched.

Going to this school was difficult on Cas, but it was something he wanted to do. He wanted to know people, he wanted to hear them, and feel their presence. He had even made a few friends, Gabriel, and Charlie. Gabriel had brown hair, and Charlie said she had hair that looked like fire, it was vibrant and stood out, it was like a fire truck. Red.

Still, he didn't know what he was doing. Why he was even at school. There aren't many occupations for blind people. And, even though he has accepted his disability, he wished he could see, and have all the opportunities as everyone else. He wanted to be in a classroom full of other people, with their bright clothes and smiling faces. He wanted a big group of friends, with whom he can always look at their faces, smiling brightly with all their beautiful differences. You never realize how beautiful and magnificent everyone is until you can't see anyone at all.