Sink or Swim

Sidelines - Lucy

She's there with them when they meet for the first time. She sees when he catches her eye and invites them to his table with his friends. She sees the two of them take to the dance floor, Keira's head thrown back in laughter because he was able to amuse her. She's glad she drinks because she might have started just watching them dance impossibly close together; she'd have started drinking from that alone.

*

Keira sidles up next to her in the taxi on the way home, a mixture of tequila, sweat and perfume hitting her all too close.

"Guess who gave me his number," Keira singsongs, waving her phone in Lucy's face. She doesn't remember his name, but she doesn't have to, not when Keira reminds her, an excited smile on her face.

"That's really exciting," she offers, pulls herself enough to convince Keira — maybe the both of them — that it is really exciting.

*

When she got home that night, Step is sitting on the couch, a closed book beside her, flipping through channels. She plops down beside her housemate and lets out a long, tired sigh. She turns when Steph wordlessly looks at her, her hand mid-air with the remote. She looks away, rubbing her forehead and stares at a random episode of Say Yes To The Dress on the television.

She started to count backwards from ten in her mind while she sees her housemate readjust in her spot beside her.

...Four...three...two...one.

"Do you want to tell me or do I have to guess?"

She props her feet up on the coffee table before glancing across at Lucy.

"Guess." She doesn't know if she can let the words come out of her mouth.

"Keira."

She nods.

"She kissed you."

She laughs a little, bitterly, before shaking her head.

"You kissed her."

She shakes her head again while she picks at her jeans. She's afraid that if she turns to her captain, she'll see how pathetic she's gotten.

Steph puts a finger on her chin. "Is it about someone outside the two of you?"

Nod.

"Is it a boy?"

Nod.

"She met a boy."

She nods but she lets her head hang low.

"Oh. Well, she's young. They probably won't last long, you know she doesn't want to get serious with anybody."

She knows that Steph's just saying this because they're the most comforting words she knows her friend can give her while she nurses an unrequited crush on a straight girl. It's like a rite of passage, almost, to feel your heart break from something no one can control; you just have to let it unfold hoping that you can (and will) survive from it.

She's not paying attention to the television anymore, just flashes of her night out replaying in her mind.

*

Keira does get serious, but not just with anybody. With him.

She's not surprised, not in the slightest, when Keira visits her one afternoon and excitedly informs her that she and he are going to try and see where this relationship goes. She lets the happiness reach her eyes just long enough to be believable to congratulate her friend before walking to the kitchen to fetch some water. Her tongue feels like sand and there's a pang in her chest — one that feels a lot like a long practice under the blistering hot sun — that she gulps down the whole glass.