❝ I’m sorry I can’t say the word ‘I love you’ ❞
It was natural.
Falling in love was natural. Giving in was natural, but there was always something that was off. Something he couldn't quite put a finger on. He loved him, there was nothing wrong with that. The older did as well, just had a different way of saying and demonstrating it.
It would be told through the acts of kissing, hugs, cuddles, their cute dates.
It was easy to get lost in his eyes, his voice, his touch.
❝ Laughing isn’t about laughing. It’s about lying every moment. ❞
There was not a joke thrown in. That's how they met, through a joke. Quoting the same one, making not just themselves laugh, but everyone around them. They were gamers, they were soulmates. It was fate.
❝This could be dangerous. Maybe more.
Maybe that’s the end of the relationship. ❞
Nothing was wrong.
He couldn't see anything wrong. Y/n was a responsible caring boyfriend. He made sure he was ok, he made sure he was healthy. He didn't see what was wrong about that. Who wouldn't want a caring, loving boyfriend?
Especially one that would get sick, because he kissed you to swallow medicine while you yourself were sick.
It made him fall deeper in love.
❝ I don’t know I thought it was gonna last forever.
A sea of trials and errors and intensifying waves. ❞
Sure, they had arguments. But they were never bad to the point one had to sleep on the couch or leave.
No.
They always made up before bedtime. They always made sure to apologize to one another. I made sure neither was feeling guilty afterward. They cried together, slept together, laughed, ate, screamed, went to church together.
They were everything a couple could and possibly should be.
❝ It’s not an easy decision. Sooner or later,
I’ll be gone and you’ll be left. ❞
It couldn't be, no. There was never betrayal. Never even thought of doubt. Y/n was never like that.
Y/n was everything he hoped to have one day.
A loving, caring boyfriend.
Always thinking ahead, out of the box.
Always loving.
It's not easy, Y/n said it himself. Sometimes life gives you a shit turn and you have to succumb to it. Just don't ever, ever lose hope. Don't quit, because you aren't disappointing those around you. You're only disappointing yourself.
❝ I didn’t know I’d say this first
But something’s changed without me knowing. ❞
Maybe, if he had paid more attention, Felix would be fine.
Felix wouldn't have to deal with this pain. He wouldn't have to hit rock bottom and have to start back up again. He knew it wasn't his fault, nor Y/n's. He never knew what to truthfully expect. He's always prayed, prayed for his boyfriend to be safe, for God to care for both of them.
