Phan: Royal Fuck Up

Part 1: The Great Escape

A/N: this is kinda Phan, kinda an original story. None if this is researched, none of this will be at all accurate except for names and a few locations.

Word Count: 1081

Trigger Warning: none (if there is a trigger you want noted, please let me know)

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I glance around the corner, seeing the two guards at the door having a quick chat. I know them, and they know me, but I'll have to pull rank to get them to let me leave the castle.

Striding around the corner with my two large, wheeled suitcases, I call out to them. They snap to attention, and I can't help but sigh a bit.

When you're royalty, you don't have friends, you have people ready to die for you and defend you, and then you have a family.

And honestly, I can't wait to lose both.

"Your Royal Highness," says John, the one on the left. They both bow deeply, and I roll my eyes again.

"I'm leaving. Going out for a bit. Don't expect me back this week, and don't expect me to keep in touch," I tell them, pulling my suitcases closer to me so they stand up on all four wheels.

These are the bags Mum got for me. They're all black, matching, and each have a smaller bag attached to the handle, ones that are used as carry-ons. The bigger suitcase has a little suitcase attached to it, while the smaller suitcase has a backpack on it.

Anthony, the other guard, looks at me with confusion. "But why, Your Highness?"

"I need to get out," I state, "You know about me and my personality. I haven't gone out since Christmas, and that was nearly a year ago!"

They share a look and open the doors.

These doors aren't the main ones, but a small side-entrance that nearly everyone has forgotten about. They're still guarded, but they've allowed me to escape more than once.

I thank them and leave, pulling the suitcases behind me quickly. John will, no doubt, let the other guards know to expect me at the gates in a bit, so I get there as fast as I can, working my way around the motion-sensors and lights so that none of the Royal Family know I'm escaping.

I hail a cab, glad of the dark to obscure my well-known face and figure. The cabbie helps me load my bags into the trunk, and I direct him to the hotel a few blocks over, where I've made reservations.

I pay the cabbie and drag my bags up to the doors, which are opened by the doorman, who helps me carry bags to the front desk.

Here, the lights are dimmed a bit for night, but they still light up my face enough that the moment I step in, the doorman, desk attendants, and janitor all stop, gasping.

"Your Highness!" an attendant calls out, curtsying quickly. I stop myself from rolling my eyes and thank the doorman for helping me with my bags, turning to the attendant that reacted the most civilized.

"I have a reservation, under the alias "Lucifer Mickey"."

The attendant nods, quickly searching up and finding my reservation. She types for a few seconds, then turns to me.

"You have enough loyalty points that you can be upgraded to the top suite for no extra charge. Would you like to be upgraded?" she asks, reaching under the counter/desk to grab a few things.

"Sure, why not?" I laugh, and she hands me my room key, a little schedule and map of the hotel, and rattles off some of the amenities that the hotel provides.

"Please, call us if you need anything. Enjoy your stay!"

I grin at her. "Thanks, I will."

With that, I begin to pull the baggage trolley over to the lifts. A young man immediately helps me, and I thank him.

Man, I could get used to this. But I don't want to. I don't want to be treated differently. I just want to be treated like some random rich person staying here, not like royalty.

My suite is bloody amazing.

It's a corner suite, so two entire walls are floor-to-ceiling windows, and because it's at the very top of the hotel, several skylights show the night sky.

A huge king bed is pushed up against a wall and has a large painting of London above the headboard. A kitchen takes up the entire other wall, and an L-couch divides the place into two sections. A huge flatscreen TV rests atop a corner TV stand, facing the corner of the couch.

The lights of London shine despite the lateness, and I stand at the window for a moment, wondering when my family will realize I'm never coming back.

I can see Buckingham Palace from the windows that face east, and only the guards' rooms' windows are lit up.

A desk beside the bed has some notepads on it, and a couple fancy fountain pens as well.

"When in doubt, write a list."

My Aunt's words of wisdom come to me, and I sit at the desk, propping my feet up on its top and grabbing the pad of paper and a pen.

"Change my appearance," I say slowly, writing that at the top of the paper, "So what can I do..." I continue to think out loud, writing down such things as "tattoos" and "hair dye".

After what feels like only a few minutes, I glance at the clock on the bedside table and see that it's already 1:30. AM.

"Shit," I mutter, yawning. I put the notepad down and head to where I'd dropped my bags when I came in.

I've been planning to get away for a long time now, so I am by no means unprepared.

The large suitcase holds the stylish clothes I'd bought not too long ago. As I'm well known for being an uncaring slob, anyone looking for me would expect to find a messy girl in sweatpants, not a stylish woman in skinny jeans.

I'd gone for the "artist" look because it's my hidden talent, so most of the skinny jeans are ripped, acid washed, and covered in rainbow paint.

In addition to that, I'd opted for black tops. Entirely black tops. Black tube tops, black sweaters, black everything. I love black, but everyone forced me to wear bright colors.

My pajamas are at the bottom of the suitcase, so I get out my clothes and put them away in drawers. The sudden sleepiness that had hit me when I looked at the time now makes me go faster, and I throw on a big shirt and loose shorts and crawl into the enormous bed.

Sleep comes more quickly than ever.

A/N: and that's the first chapter. Again, this will be minor Phan, so please if you want a Phan-based story don't complain to me, just go elsewhere. I don't write for you guys unless you want me to, so this will just be the little story I wrote over the past couple weeks. It has no clear plot or ending, so if I randomly stop "halfway" through it, just know that it has been abandoned, at least temporarily.

If there's any grammatical or spelling errors, please just let me know in the comments and I'll go back and reread and edit it.

Peace out,

Lucifer