Like Before

Move On, The How To

I asked him why he left , I think I asked more than once to be honest. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he is here now and he just expects me to go back to him like he didn't left for two years. As if there is this button I can press and go back, not a ''start over'' kind of button but a ''play'' button because I guess for him , those two years that went by without seeing me were just a ''pause''.

- I thought you died, your family moved away. I had nobody to talk to about you that could understand the loss I felt.

- Loss? He says through his teeth and laughs.

- Yeah! Loss. That's how I felt and you come after two years and you cant even answer my question. I..I ..don't under..stand anything.

- My grandparents are still here, my friends as well. You said you had nobody to talk to but did you even try? You just let me pass by. He says and I am in loss of words. I just look at him and all I can feel is my chest burning from anger.

- Are you actually trying to play the blame game? I didn't try to do what exactly? I ? I was the one who let you pass by? I don't even want to repeat that! I was heartbroken, Jack.

- Really? You was heartbroken? Yeah that explains why you found somebody within as I heard four months . Your apparent ''loss'' as you called it, oh and cannot forget ''heartbreak'' lasted four months. I have a juice in my fridge that lasted more than your love after all.

- Wow ! I say, I am shocked of his response . He is full of sarcasm, anger and something else. I haven't seen him like this before, ever. He is jealous?

- Yeah , wow! That's what I said. Planning an engagement, wow. Am I at least invited? Oh and congratulations. He says and stands up, throws the napkin on the table and walks out of the restaurant. I watch him as he leaves, thinking how on earth this went so wrong. I came here to finally find out why he left and he leaves me behind once again. Well, at least I know the reason he left now. My heart was telling me to go after him, chase him and start this conversation right but I couldn't . My mind was frozen, so instead I decided to sit here

and finish my glass of wine. My phone keeps beeping. I look at the screen. Of course it was Jake, for a second I thought it was.. nevermind.

- Hey, what are you doing here alone? A familiar voice. I look up and I see Jess. My mood instantly got better when I saw her or because of those two glasses of wine I drank like it was water. She immediately sits.

- Well, Jack is back apparently he was not dead. Uhm, Jake wants to marry me, no let me correct that he thinks I am the love of his life so he wants us to get engaged. Now lets go to the part '' why I am here'', I met with Jack because I still care, I... I always will and I want to know why he just left two years ago. He found out about Jake and the engage thing I mentioned two seconds ago and he was angry so he decided to leave.. again. Some things will never change. But hey how are you? New haircut? I love it !

- Can we get another bottle of the rose please? Jess says to the waitress and comes closer to me.

- He just left you here? What an asshole! Jess says and rubs my hair.

- Jake is calling me every twenty minutes asking me if we talked and if you are okay, how the hell was I suppose to know that he came back. I thought Jake was drunk or something. The waitress bring us the bottle of wine.

- Thank you. We both say, at least we have to act like all these is normal.

- I am going to pay and we will leave all right? Can you stand up? Jess asks me and takes my hands to help me stand to my own feet. What is this humiliation? I laugh.

- Why are you laughing? She asks me.

- I think you already know. I am going to the car, it's right outside. I can make it. I say and even though I could stand she kept looking out for me. I head to the car but the cold breeze stops me and I stand there enjoying it. Its like I can breathe again. This night was such a mistake.

- Lets go love. I hear Jess saying and takes my hand and we head to the car.

- Play ''Water under the bridge'' please. I say to Jess and she just nods. The song starts playing and without even noticing I close my eyes.