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SHIVAAY
'Are you sure shivaay? You dont love me?' She asked with tears streaming down her magnificent eyes which were red now. Gulping down the lump in my throat ,I acted as if I am answering her sternly but who am I fooling, myself? 'Yes Ani, I dont love you. May be it was just an attraction after all. And I never confessed also. You are and will always be my friend '
I finished my sentence knowing how much this will break her. And as expected there was hurt and pain reflecting in her eyes. I cant do anything even after knowing she means the world to me but I cant..I just cant.
'Dont lie Shivaay! When you dont know how to lie, then dont atleast not to me' she screamt her lungs out. I knew she would easily point my lie. But now I don't have a choice than to deny her.
' I am not Ani, try to understand this is the best for you for us. What ever your dad decided is the best for you. I am sure you will be happy' I said in a calm voice even though my everything was falling apart.
'But my happiness is you Shivaay, why dont you understand? I will talk to dad he will surely understand. If not we will figure it out. But please don't give up on us.' She whispered cupping my face in a calm yet vulnerable voice. Which is enough to break everything and pull her in my arms but now I cant.
'There is no Us ani how will I give up when there is nothing between us?. And moreover I am not stable, i dont have a proper job. Understand ani, this is the best for us, for you.'Again I tried convincing her.
'Shivaay please understand, I cant live without you. It's ok if you are unemployed but please don't let me go' Tears where flowing in her eyes but this breaking my heart into pieces.
'Ani, if you ever loved me truly get married to the guy your dad choose and forget me'I told breaking everything. Her hands on my head. 'Its my swear to you ani.' Last stroke I played.I knew she would never deny this one now.
'You will regret shivaay'the only words which came out of her mouth after a long silence.
I woke up with a jolt from my night mare.Her tearful face and the pain haunted me for years. It's been 3 years now, I still cant get over her. She was and will always be my love. That day was the day I lost everything.
Today I have everything with me money, power,name, fame all but Ani! Having everything without her is meaningless and I dont feel like having it. My family enjoys whatever I have, OmRu, mom,dad ,badi ma, bade papa, dadi all know about Anika they have been persuading me to move on. But how do I make them understand a heartbeat cannot move from a heart. Forgetting her is difficult ,leave moving on.
