Everything seemed quiet. Absolutely everything. I can’t hear the whisper of the ocean, I can’t hear my own thoughts, it’s all quiet… Where am I? Where are we? Who am I? Who are you?
…
I’m on the bottom of the- No? Why am I even talking to myself… Maybe, the darkness isn’t as bad as I thought..? It’s confusing, though, but everything else is just fine..
Just.. Fine…
...
“Eyee.. Arr… Ayay… All on- you know what? Fuck it. You go ahead; you’re just laughing at me anyway.” Spain, thankfully, dodged the pillow and sighed happily. He’s 100 percent sure that he could spend his entire day by just admire this boy. He really is full of wonders.
Romano lifted the pillow once again, but froze his actions with a frown. Spain stared blankly at the ceiling, muttering some words that sounded more like Swedish than Spanish.
“Hey, you can’t just ignore me when I’m trying to beat you. Are you even listening?” He smiled to himself and rolled over carefully, nudging the Spaniards side with his elbow. “Spain..?” He said softly.
The room’s atmosphere, slightly changed from energy filled, to much more calm and relaxed. An instant yawn wouldn’t be unusual.
“What’re you thinking about?” Spain then blinked. “Wow, shit, was I really drifting off like that?” He then chuckled, leaning his elbow slightly over Lovis rib cage.
Moments like this were to die for. They are just way too rare that it almost seemed to not even exist. All the times Antonio had to leave this boy without knowing if he’ll ever return. Every time the thought would hit him, there were only darkness in his mind. The world outside wouldn’t exist. Just darkness and the sound of dying waves.
Romano sighed yet again, grabbing the pillow and hugs it to his chest while looking up at him, wondering what on green earth were happening in his mind. He was zooning out again.
“How is it like?” His eyes roamed over the pillow and further down to his knees. He didn’t wanted to know, but at the same time he had to.
Spain blinked surprised again and coughed awkwardly. “How’s what?” An annoyed huff escaped underneath the pillow. Of course, Spain knew what he was talking about, but he would never really talk about it. It was a scar he was not willing to share.
He had to laugh at Lovino’s sudden outburst, ‘cause all he said was a long and random discussion about sheep which made him yawn almost instantly.
“So that’s why the clouds doesn’t have legs.” He finished off, amused by what he just found out. “But Spain..?” The pillow fell to his side as he sat up with his legs crossed, facing every possible reactions that might come. “You know that some time you have to talk about all this.. Right?” Spain flinched and pressed his eyes together, forcing stars to appear under his eyelids. The image moved in once again, but with different colors. “N-no, just, I-I really don’t…” He stammered, terrified and angry with himself. Romano couldn’t help it, but feel slightly annoyed that he acted like this. He knows how the battlefield is, or might be, but that isn’t reason enough to block him out of this, or whatever this is.
He waited patiently as he watched the elders fists clench and unclench. But there wasn’t much time he needed either.
“T-the more I think about it.. The more I fear that I’ll go insane..” He finally forced out, but barely as a whisper. “I-I think I’m just tired.”
Without a second thought, he threw his back down on the bed still with his legs kicking back and forth. Romano blinked surprised at the sudden action, but eventually he found himself laying on his side with his head rested on the Spaniards shoulder.
“Sometimes you scare me.” He said in a low tone. Trying to get through all the shit that was happening. “I know, I know.. Sorry.” Spain’s arm wandered to Lovino’s waist and caressed him, trying to get his exploding mind on something else. His other hand went to his temple and just held it there.
“That’s an other reason I don’t like talking about it.”
“But, would you scare me with a lie.. Or with the truth..?”
“Let’s just continue with this tomorrow.. eh? I know a tired Lovino when I see one.”
“Of course you do.” He nuzzled his nose in Antonio’s neck and smiled. Yes, he was tired and felt like shit, but how many hours have Antonio actually slept since last time..?
“Spain?”
“Mmm?”
“How many hours have you actually slept these days?”
“Hmm.. not many. Why?”
“It’s not healthy…”
Spain felt a wave of butterflies and rainbows through his chest and couldn’t keep an urge to tackle the poor Italian with a hug. To his surprise, he didn’t complain or even flinch. He was happy to know that Lovi actually cared about him.
“That was a new one.” His smile couldn’t leave it’s place as he pulled back slightly still with his arms around the younger’s waist. Lovino laughed, like, an actual laugh, and pinched the Spaniard’s cheek.
“Yeah, I am surprised as well. It’s a wonder, how you managed to change me in so short amount of time..” And with that, he kissed the corner of his lips and dug underneath the fresh sheets with a happy sigh. Spain was left to his own thoughts and wondered, is this a sweet dream, or a beautiful nightmare..?
