PART ONE: PACIFIST

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(Scene opens on Frisk facedown)

Frisk: Ow, shit I think I fell on my keys. (Gets up) Where the hell am I?

(Flowey pops up) Flowey: Howdy, I'm flower, flower the Flowey......wait.....NEVER MIND! Why, you're in the Underground. You're new, aren't ya?

Frisk: (Answers questioningly) Yeeeeeeeeeees?

Flowey: Well golly, allow me to help you.

Frisk: Ok?

(Flowey holds up sunflower seeds) 

Flowey: These are friendliness pellets, they give you more LOVE.

Frisk: OK THEN! Didn't need to hear THAT from a flower. 

Flowey: SHUT UP! (Clears throat in obvious annoyance) Collect as many of the pellets as you can. 

(Hucks seeds at Frisk, Frisk "dodges") 

Flowey: Golly friend, I said GRAB them. 

(Hucks more seeds, Frisk dodges) 

Flowey: You know what's happening, don't you? You think you can just learn my moves and reset? Well if that's how it's going to be, then I won't need this charade anymore. DIE!! 

(Hucks many seedables at Frisk, Frisk flops over like a weeb) 

Flowey: What? Why are you not dead? 

(Orange painted tennis ball hits Flowey) 

Flowey: OW, What the hell? (Barrage of tennis balls from off stage) OWWHATTHEOWOWJEEZSTOPFINE! (Flowey leaves) 

Frisk: Ok then....what was that about? 

(Toriel comes onstage) 

Toriel: My child, are you alright? 

Frisk: NO! I ALMOST GOT MURDERED BY A FREAKIN FLOWER! 

Toriel: Would you like some pie? 

Frisk: WHAT?! NO! I'M DYING, ARE YOU NOT FOLLOWING THIS!? 

Toriel: Would you prefer cinnamon or butterscotch? 

Frisk: OMYGAWD ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! CALL A DOCTOR! 

Toriel: Would you turn up butterscotch if you found it on your plate? 

Frisk: I CAN'T TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE! 

(Passes out on purpose) (Toriel picks up Frisk and goes offstage) (blackout) (Toriel in Frisks face with pie) 

Frisk: GAH, what the? 

Toriel: Hello my child, I made pie. 

Frisk: Please kill me. 

Toriel: You didn't tell me whether you liked cinnamon or butterscotch, so I made snail pie. 

FrisK: What, are...are you like...crazy? 

Toriel: Here my child, I made it special for you. 

Frisk: First of all, I'm 26. Second, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! 

Toriel: Nothing my child. 

Frisk: Oh my god- 

Toriel: Would you like to read this book? (Slams book in Frisk's face)

Frisk:  ....The hell is this? 

Toriel: It's 100 uses for snails, and if you can't read, I could give a short tu-TORIEL!....... My name is Toriel, by the way... 

Frisk: What is with you and snails...Do you seriously eat snails?... OHHHH wait, goats eat anything...wait... I'M AN ANYTHING!!! 

Toriel: My child- 

Frisk: Still 26- 

Toriel: You should explore, after all, this is your new home. 

Frisk: Wait, that's kidnapping, Goat Mom. 

Toriel: No it's no-....wait, YOU CALLED ME MOM! 

Frisk: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Hey Goat Mom, dangit, what does LOVE mean? 

Toriel: Level of violence, my child. 

Frisk: .....Okey-dokey-todoroki. WHELP, passing out made me tired, where's my room? 

Toriel: Over there, my child. 

Frisk: (In distance) STILL 26. 

(Blackout) (opens in bedroom) 

Frisk: Whelp, I'm bored. All these toys suck. Xbox, no, Call of Duty, no, limited edition Undertale.....wait what?...I think I'll annoy Goat Mom. 

(Walks out) 

Frisk: OH NO, a dark foreboding staircase that I somehow missed for the past ten hours. Looks fun. (goes down) 

Frisk: Ooooooooh, creepy poorly lit hallway. Must be where I'm supposed to go. 

Toriel: My child. 

Frisk: AHHHH, JESUS GOAT MOM, THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! 

Toriel: I'm going to destroy the only way out of here. Don't try and stop me. 

Frisk: First of all, THAT'S FREAKN INSANE! Second, I wasn't trying to stop you, I just want some food. 

Toriel: Fine, if you insist, fight me or run away! 

Frisk: ....You can't run away from breakfast. 

(Toriel punches smol child...a lot) 

Frisk: OW WHAT THE STOP! I! JUST! WANTED! SOME! BREAKFAST! 

(Toriel falls over) 

Toriel: My child, you have proven yourself to me. You may leave. 

Frisk: .....I just wanted to eat but...cool. 

Toriel: But promise me one thing, that once you leave, you cannot cone back. Please understa- and he's gone, yep shoulda seen that coming. Oh well, back to my snails. 

(Blackout)






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