Finding Hope

Prologue

I feel my whole body in massive pain as I push myself to continue walking down the hallway, in fear of what might happen next. I look straight ahead of me, peeking out of the corner of my eye, hoping they wouldn't come and push me again. I try to keep to myself most of the time and just let them do these things to me because I'm scared of interaction with them. What would they say or think? Deep down I know I shouldn't let them do these things to me, but my other side of my body just won't do anything about it. I feel the right side of my arm throbbing from the impact of hitting the lockers. I watch as the kids laugh and talk together as they all move to their next class. I don't really have any friends, occasionally some people say hi to me when i enter school, or hold doors open for me when I'm walking, but other than that, nobody cares except for just my family. My Mom knows about what's going on and so does my little sister, Paige. My dad doesnt care, or at least I don't think he does.. I approach my next class with my heart feeling as if it's going to pound out of my chest as I stand there and wait for the other kids to go in like I do every day, hoping that nobody would say anything to me. I fear of what people think. I never did anything for them to do anything to me, but of course they always do. I nervously walk in with my binders and notebooks up to my chest, almost covering my face, trying to hide myself and draw less attention than I already do. I don't dress like the other kids in my grade, but I guess it's just my style and kids don't like me for that I guess. I walk into the classroom with my heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest. I watch as all eyes turn to me, or at least it feels like.

"Weirdo," I heard someone scream from the other side of the room. I try to ignore it but my heart begins to beat faster as the teacher gives a nasty look to the student. The teachers in my school never did anything when the kids bullied me, they mostly just give them a warning each time, which I'm pretty used to. I slip myself into the chair which I sit in everyday when entering this class. I sit next to a boy with long black hair and a beanie on. He doesn't talk much, but I guess that's okay because after all of the stuff that happens in the beginning of the morning, I don't even want to talk to anyone. The class continues to move on slowly with kids just yelling over the teacher and other kids just talking and doodling on their papers. I nervously tap my foot on the floor and go through all of my classes until the day is finally over. Once home, I take my tylenol which I mostly do almost everyday when I get home because my body usually hurts from the impact of the lockers. Mom has been trying to get me out of this school for ages, but the administrative team thinks I should just keep trying here because there's no openings for schools unless we move to a different town. I love the home that I'm in right now. I've been living there since second grade after we lived with my Grandparents. My thick walls comfort me when I just want to be alone and sing. The cozy fireplace warms me in the cold winter seasons and the soothing pool cools me down in the scorching summers in Anaheim. I hope that we move to a new city soon, but I also don't because I can't bare to think about the thought of leaving my home. My Grandparents live in Los Angeles which is about a forty minute drive from where I am, Anaheim. My little sister paige is in elementary school since she's only seven, well, she just turned seven a few days ago. After taking my tylenol, I run upstairs and into my room as I sigh. My head is pounding and I sigh as I drop myself onto my bed, just praying and wishing that the next day would be something new, and not like everyday where I wake up, go to school, get shoved into lockers, and then go home.