It was like a scene from a movie. The perfect scene, where everything was placed right where they were supposed to be.
To start, I was 16 and excited to see BTS at their Rose Bowl concert on the 5th with FLOOR seats. How lucky was I? Pretty lucky. Without my sister's help it wouldn't have been possible as she was able to get those tickets in no more than 10 minutes, with my mom's credit card. It sucks how my debit card can't spend more than $500, and I was buying tickets for two, Semee and I.
It was a Wednesday, probably a month or so after the whole ticket purchase dilemma. I owed my mom the money that she used to buy the tickets, all that I had in my card. I gave her back $200, and she remained angry over the fact that she had to spend her money to buy my tickets so she repeatedly asked for more.
Semee dropped me off home and my mom questioned me, asking me where the rest of her money was. I told her that I didn't owe her anything, and that I paid her back already. Suddenly, my brother stormed out of his 'room'.
I mean, half of our livingroom. When he moved out of our home a long time before, he left a room for my sister and I to share. He lost his privileges after leaving the house, and when he was kicked out of his apartment for who knows what reason (I was too young to understand), he had to resort to staying in the living room since my sister and I shared his old room.
He utilizes some dividers to have some privacy I guess, but that doesn't stop the soundwaves of random moaning girls that pass the dividers, echoing the living room, echoing through the corridor, and into what is now only my room.
My sister was actually home during the time that I came home on Wednesday, and had invited some old friends over since she goes to college all the way in San Diego.
My brother was always abusive, physically and mentally. It is domestic abuse. Maybe in other chapters you can get to know him more. All you need to know is that in this time, he hasn't spoken to me in months. And when he has, he always yelled at me. It was a broken relationship.
So he stormed out of his room, yelling at me to give my mom her money back. I yelled back, shocked that he would come out at a time like this. I yelled at him, and asked him what his problem was. I asked why he even bothers to talk to me, especially if he never has in month . I asked him what was wrong with him, but I already knew. I remember cursing at him, but I dont know exactly what I said. I probably told him to fuck off, and fuck you. I wanted him to leave me alone, it was none of his business anyways and I told him that.
But I guess he really wanted to be in the business, because he pushed me back and threatening. He hovered over, pushing back, pushing back, yelling. I asked him to hit me. At this time, my sister ran out of the room to try and break us up, and my mom stayed on the couch, simply watching us. That made me sad.
I reached my brother's breaking point as I slapped him to push him back. I really wanted him to leave me alone, but he was not having it. So he threw me to the floor, and he dragged me to my room. I wanted someone to stop him so bad. He yanked me, and threw me across the floor of the room. He shut the door behind him, and I closed my eyes to expect anything, really. If he hit me all I was thinking, 'Finally. A valid reason to call the cops on him.' I wanted him gone, and I will never accept his apology if he ever gave me one. As a matter of fact, I won't attend his funeral. I won't pay my respects to him. He failed his role as a brother, and he lost his chance to be a good guy a long time ago.
My mom yelled a lot. The most heartbreaking thing for me was to hear my own mother tell my brother to give it to me, to teach me a lesson. That was the most heartbreaking thing I ever heard, and I will never forgive her for it. I still, to this day, can't believe she ever encouraged it. And I promised myself that day that she wasn't a mother to me anymore, only a guardian to sign all the field trip papers so that i could go anywhere and everywhere away from my own home.
Nothing had happened. I looked at him, and he looked to his left, right where all my sister's friends were sitting on the bed. I had witnesses, and I was so relieved to be in this situation. They are truly my life savers, and they helped me see the real in my mother.
He walked off and away, out of the house. I wanted to leave so bad, too. So I grabbed some clothes and told my mom that I was leaving. Oh, how thankful she was.
My sister and I cried, and hugged together on my bed. I was shaking, and I wasn't breathing. I felt bad for her friends, they had to see what a fucking mess my family was. Sorry Endy, and girl with Sunflower? I forgot who was there.
After I was stable enough to speak, I called Semee and asked her to pick me up. I waited a painstaking 20 minutes for her to get me since she brought Tiffany, and Ivan to get Starbucks which was right next to my house. She picked me up, and I explained the situation. I asked her to take me to my dad's workplace, which she did (my parents are separated). I felt bad that I had to do that, but I would rather be dead than stay at my home any longer.
So I asked my dad where he worked, and he sent me the address. I only asked if I could go visit him in Long Beach since my friend was able to take me. Once I met him there, he asked me what's up. I told him nothing much, and he asked me what was wrong, so i just started crying, and I said bye to Semee. Thank you so much for this, Semee.
I told my Dad what happened and he asked me to call the police. I told my sister about it and she said to not since it would just cause more problems in our family, and since it was just bad for us. I didn't know if I should be mad at her for that because... what is more important? Our family repuation?
I stayed at my Dad's place until morning. He bought me McDonald's which... not good. I really didn't enjoy it, but I appreciated it. I spent the night texting Rocio about what happened. She is always there for me, even 1 hour away.
My dad got home from work the next day while I slept in, and he came around 1 pm. He said that he talked to my mom, and that she wanted me home now. He couldn't keep me at his place for too long, and I had no other choice. I didn't want to go home, and I cried the car ride home.
When I got home, my mom slapped me in a 'playful' way, asking why I was so dumb for running away, in front of my dad. I flinched, and started crying again. I ran to my room and locked the door, and I made a video about it.
I don't remember anything that happened afterward, but I have yet to talk to my brother and I don't imply to. I was completely heartbroken, and soon after this I slacked off my APUSH class and failed it.
Because of the even worse relationship with my mother and brother (which were the only ones who lived in my home), I was never comfortable going to my kitchen or anywhere else other than my room. I was devastated and depressed, and I stayed anywhere else other than my home for a long time.
I stayed afterschool to dance everyday. I loved to dance so I always did it and it was a big weight off of my shoulders, but I hated living in my home. It made me want to die, and I cried often because of it.
