Selfies » h.s.

#WTF

What the fuck is going on?

That was the first reaction I had when I woke up on an odd, green, smelly couch that was covered with confetti and plastic cups. My black shirt simply covered in stains as my black shoes were covered in pieces of Doritos. I for one didn't know what the fuck was going on, nor did I remember anything that happened here. The apartment seemed familiar, but other than that, it was an absolute blank picture for me. People were lying on the floor, passed out I suppose, with a plastic cup on almost everybody's hand. Some people had beer bottles or condoms, but other than that, most of them were plastic cups. Picking up my purse from under the coffee table, I slowly stood up from the couch, trying to keep my balance. Then an oozing feeling struck my body, as if I was about to hurl on this very spot of the apartment. I must've been really drunk last night. I quickly ran over towards the bathroom, walking over passed out people lying on the floor, one man wrapped in a blanket with a sharpie moustache and a dick on his face. I bet when he wakes up he'll want to kill the person who did that to his face. Once I reached near the bathroom, I heard somebody taking a shower.

A shower.

Who the fuck takes a shower at a person's apartment while people are literally sober and passed out on the floor. That's just fucking stupid and completely idiotic.

"Hey, um, can I come in for a minute, I'm just gonna use the bathroom really quickly." I asked tiredly as I knocked on the door, standing beside it.

"Sure, no problem." I heard a guy's voice say, slowly opening the door to check if he wasn't just tricking me and standing in the shower seductively, showing his wet naked body. It's happened before, not gonna lie.

"Hello?" I questioned softly, peeking into the bathroom slowly. Finding to see the bathroom curtain closed correctly and no sudden peeks through the curtain. Good.

"Thanks," I sighed in relief as I bent down onto my knees and lifted up the toilet top, hanging my head low near the seat. Taking in deep breaths, hoping I'd feel better. I'm actually quite surprised to reach the toilet considering my short height.

"You okay?" Grand, I don't know where I am nor what I was doing here, I have a massive headache beginning to form in my head, and my stomach feels like complete shit. I feel grand.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I spoke until I got the urge to throw up everything I had consumed in me last night. How many beers did I drink last night? Did I eat something weird last night? Whatever it was I ate or how many drinks of beer I took, it obviously didn't agree with me.

"Need aspirin?" The guy in the shower asked as a I nodded my head, continuing to throw up all the alcohol consumed in me.

"Open the glass cabinet above you, and there's a bottle of aspirin somewhere around the second row." he said as I grabbed toilet paper and wiped my mouth, flushing the horrid smell coming from the toilet, slowly getting up from the ground. I did as I was told and found the aspirin exactly where he said, getting about 3 pills just to last the day.

"Thanks," I said, washing my hands and face in the sink, fixing my hair and ruined make up on my face.

"Oh great," I sighed, finding a piece of fucking gum in my damaged, messy bleached blonde hair. How the fuck did I get gum on my hair in the first place? It's official, I am having the worst hangover of my life. What's next, I find out that I'm fucking pregnant with one of the drunk guys on the floor. That would be just the peak of my day. It could be worse.

"Hey, guy in the shower, yeah, um do you have any scissors? I've got this stupid gum on my hair." I asked the kind naked person as I heard him turn off the shower, hoping he'd have scissors because I wouldn't want to be going outside with this lump of gum on my hair.