The change

Chapter one :The Truth....

       How did this happen to me? What made you change? Are you sure you are what you are? Are you ashamed of it? To answer your queastion's yes I am sure about what I am I am a lesbian no im not ashamed of what I am And how did this happen it started with a scar that left me marked .... what broke me and if the person read this the person who hurt me sorry but i'm not sorry everyone has to see what happen how you broke me i'm tired of running i'm tired of hiding i'm tired of trusting you... Don't worry I wont put your real name like i won't put anyone else or mine ....but we all learn from our mistakes right? But you... you will never learn you will continue to hurt me until you have what you want am I right? But get this through your head I wont go back to you...I wont allow you to hurt me use me play me my name Ivy and this is my story......
          It started with me just listing to music I was by myself alone .... the way I liked it to be the way it should had been.......But then you came around yes you...Think I am going to call you Jake.... yes Jake fits you. So like I was saying you Jake came around. At the time I didn't think of nothing of it I thought you was ''cool'' ''chill'' But I was wrong.. But i cant turn back time can I? No like i said we all learn from our mistakes and you was the biggest mistake in my life....We started to hang out and chill it was fun. Day after day spending time with you not giving no fucks about the world then a month past by and I started devloping some type of feelings for you... crazy right Jake... stupied me letting my feelings get in the way....But I wasn't ready for a realationship and you wasn't ethier and we both knew that so we thought about becoming friends with benfits... At the time I should had said no I think i would have said no knowing what i know now.. But I said yes at first I was fine with it honestly was ok with it until two months past by and I started catching feelings again.... what where you doing to me jake? Why where you always on my mind? When I had notice I was falling I stood back. At first it was hard telling you lies like ''i cant hang out I am busy'' or ''i am hanging out with a friend'' was hard because we both knew I didn't have other friends at the time and I wasn't busy but you went along with it. Why jake? Why didn't you stop me? When I notice you stop caring  those was the nights I started crying myself to sleep.... Did you care for me at all or was i just really a fucking friend with benitfit? So i told myself to stay away from you and block you out my mind and that is what i excatly did I forgoten you I didn't know who you was anymore your memory was gone from my head. Until you came back....