The Ones You Least Expect (The Office Moby AU)

Chapter One: An Unexpected Return

Michael scanned the small cubicle that used to be Holly's. It seemed like only yesterday they were sitting on the floor, trying to assemble a chair and speaking only in Yoda voices. But he hadn't come here to reminisce. He had come back to the annex to dispel the ridiculous rumor that Toby had returned as Holly's replacement. But, of course, there was no Toby to be seen. No anyone to be seen really, no signs of life aside from him and the cameraman. It had been a joke after all. Not that Michael had believed it, but it was good to make sure. And make sure he had. No Toby, and thank God. He turned to the camera and smiled.

"Great practical joke, Jim!" He called. Jim could probably hear him. "You got me to go to the annex!" Relieved that it was just another one of Jim's stupid jokes, he turned, and immediately felt his soul crumble. There, standing before him, plain as day, stood Toby. Amusement and annoyance died within him, replaced only by the bitter knowledge that this man, this horrible demon of a man, was back to torture him. All thoughts fell from his mind until the only thing that remained was the pure revulsion he felt for the man standing before him.

"Oh, hi Micha-" Toby began, but Michael barely registered his voice.

"NOOOO! GOD!" he wailed in fury and despair. "No, God, please no! No! No! NOOO!"

The last scream faded and the air hung between them, thin yet unbearably heavy. Then, quite surprisingly, Toby smiled. No, smiled wasn't quite right. It was more of a smirk. Toby almost never smiled, and he certainly never smirked. Toby set down his paper coffee cup and scoffed lightly, then reached up and pressed the power button on the camera, turning it off.

"Oh Michael," he grinned and stared directly into Michael's eyes. "How bold of you to assume God had anything to do with it."

Michael blinked. This was so far from anything he had ever conceived of that he was at a complete loss for words. Or actions. Or emotions. He couldn't even muster the willpower to close his gaping mouth. If you keep your mouth open any longer you'll start catching flies he thought inanely. Toby held Michael's gaze for a moment longer, then turned to the cameraman.

"If you could please excuse us, I'd like to have a word with Michael alone." The man lowered his camera and began to walk away, but Toby stopped him. "And I'd appreciate if you don't mention anything about this little... meeting to anyone else. Understand?"

Apparently intimidated by Toby's sudden confidence, the cameraman nodded and hurried out of the annex. Now Michael and Toby were completely alone. Well, almost. Toby reached inside his jacket and pulled out his mic, turned it off, and set it on the filing cabinet beside him. Then he took a step forward, moving so close to Michael that their chests almost touched. Michael was completely paralyzed. Toby the reached inside Michale's jacket, lingered for a second, then pulled out Michael's microphone. Toby leaned in, so close Michael could feel Toby's breath on his cheek and whispered:

"I'll need your microphone as well." He turned off the mic and placed it on his own desk, reaching behind Michael to do so and pulling them closer in the process. Then, much to Michael's relief, Toby took a step back and Michael let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. Toby looked at him and smiled faintly.

"I- wh- what are you- who-" Michael spluttered. He was in such a state of shock he could barely think coherently, let alone speak.

"Shhhhhh," Toby interrupted him. "I'm sure you're confused and I can understand. I suppose I haven't exactly been upfront with you. Allow me to explain and please-" he shoved Michael into a chair, "have a seat." Toby proceeded to pull up a chair for himself then began.

"I guess I should start by explaining why I really left. Part of my story is true, the part where I had feelings for a coworker wasn't a lie. I did. I still do. But that coworker was never Pam. And I didn't leave because I couldn't stand to see her with Jim. No, the person I had my eye on was you. It was always you."

Michael felt his stomach drop. He was glad to be sitting because if he hadn't been he wasn't sure his legs could have supported him any longer. There was no way this was real. No way. Not Toby. And not him. This had to be another one of Jim's pranks. Toby had never been one to participate, the humorless satanic rat that he was, but there's a first time for everything, right?

"Now I know what you're thinking," Toby smiled. "There's no way this is real, it must be a prank. But I can assure you, this is no prank. If it was, why would I have disabled our microphones?"

Michael's gut clenched. This was seeming less like a prank by the minute. He tried to think of a way this could all still be a setup, but he kept coming up empty. No ideas.

"I'm sure this is all very shocking, but I need you to stay with me, alright? Now as for why I left, that's something else entirely. When I first started work here, I wasn't exactly keen on your whole vibe, but as time went on I found myself drawn to you. Something about your childish humor became less grating and more endearing. Your ceaseless enthusiasm became less tiring and more admirable. Your mannerisms were suddenly fascinating. The shape of your face, your hairline, the curve of your back, and the blink of your eye were suddenly the most mesmerizing things I'd seen. I couldn't help myself, I was wholly and utterly attracted to you. And I realized why it didn't work out with my wife. Sure I wanted her and sure I liked her. She was pretty and funny and sometimes sweet. But even at our closest, I never felt anything close to the way I feel just watching you yawn from across the office.

"Despite this realization, I struggled. I didn't want to like you. I didn't want to deal with the difficult decisions, the stress, the confusion. And even if it did work out, there would be controversy to deal with, both as a gay couple and a man dating his boss. It would be complicated and many people wouldn't understand. It would be difficult. I convinced myself it was just a passing fancy, a midlife crisis, something fleeting and hardly worth a second thought. I tried to focus on work or family or hobbies, but nothing worked. You were always present in my mind, dragging me into the world of daydreams. When I completed reports, you were there to praise my work and invite me out to coffee. When I played minion tea party with my daughter you were there, making funny voices and kissing her on the head. And when I went to play golf, your arms were around my waist, hands over mine, showing me ridiculous and useless trick shots. Even working in the annex, I was seeing you every day. I was conflicted and I realized that if I wanted to clear my head, I needed to be somewhere you weren't. I needed to leave. And to ensure I didn't fall back into this mess, I had to leave permanently. So I left the branch and decided to take a vacation for good measure." Toby sighed and gazed at a picture of a hammock strung between palm trees on a beach with white sand and crystalline blue water on the calendar pinned to his cubicle wall.

"My vacation was nothing like that, you know," he said, turning back to Michael. "The beaches were covered in regular sand and too many tourists to count. The water was pretty clear, but I barely got to see the beaches anyways. I went zip lining a few days in and fell - I guess the harness wasn't secured right - and broke my back. I was in the hospital for most of the trip. But while I was in the hospital, I met someone who gave me some really solid advice. He helped me understand that worrying over things like this will only make me unhappy. And it has. It really has. So I decided I was done worrying and hiding behind doubt and quote unquote rationality. It's time to start really living. Taking what I want and being who I was always meant to be. I was meant to be yours, Michael, and you were meant to be mine.

"So I decided to come back. When I heard that the HR position at Scranton was open again, I asked to be reinstated. My request was granted immediately. Apparently, they didn't have anyone else for the job anyways. So I'm back, Michael, and I'm back for you." Toby stood and strode to where Michael was slumped in the chair and leaned over him.

"I want to be with you. I will be with you. Because I know, deep down, you want to be with me too. I know you think you only like women. I know you think Holly was the one. But I also know how easy it is to ignore those right under your nose." Toby stood and turned away, reached for his discarded mic, then straightened and turned back towards Michael. "I'm sure you'll need some time to digest all this so I'll meet you tonight at Casa Bella. Be there at 7:30. We have a lot to discuss. I'll be taking the rest of the day off. See you there." And with that, Toby turned on his microphone, replaced it, and left.