Memory After Memory

Chapter 5

Julian must have seen my slight concern and leaned over to my ear. "Drinks?" he whispered.

The suggestion of drinks set a off a light bulb in my mind. I nodded. "Not until later though. That gave me an idea."

Julian got that questioning look on his face but nodded, not daring to question what I said. I'll explain my thought process later when Viney is not in hearing range.

~***~

I was reading a book that I had gotten earlier that day when someone knocked on my door. I smiled, thinking it must be Julian since he's the only one that ever came to check up on me. "Come in." I set my book down in the table beside me and sat up.

Viney came in and closed the door behind me, then gave me a look; a look that she had never given me before and it was slightly frightening. She went to my window and also closed the curtain.

I looked at Viney like she was out of her mind. "Viney, what's going on?"

"Shh." That was all Viney had to say to that.

I tapped my foot in irritation. "V, tell me."

Viney looked at me like she was about to slap me. "Can you keep quiet? Unless you want to die, knock it off."

"What's that supposed to-"

Viney covered my mouth and I struggled before a shadow had walked by my window, pausing there for a moment. I kept still while the person was there for what seemed like forever. I felt Viney's hand shake from how scared she was about this situation. Does Viney know him? What did he do? How was I gonna die if I didn't stop struggling? A number of questions raced through my head.

After a while, he left and Viney released her grip on me. I fell to the ground, catching my breath. I had no idea I had been holding my breath until her grip loosened. I looked at Viney before she left my room. "Who was that?"

Viney paused at my door. She didn't say anything for a moment, then looked at me. "That's my ex."

I nodded. "Okay." I thought about that for a minute, then thought about what she had said when I got irritated at her. "Why would I have died if I didn't calm down?"

"He doesn't want me to have any contact with anyone he knows, one of them being you. If he heard you from outside that window and recognized your voice, you would've been dead. All he knows is that you died in-..." Her voice trailed off and she seemed to have zoned out for a moment before recollecting herself. "I'm going to make dinner soon. Does pot roast sound good tonight?"

I wanted to know what she was going to say, but I didn't want that to trigger anything that would ruin the moment, so I brushed it aside. I figured I'd have a talk with Julian later about my suspicions when he gets back. "Sounds great."

Viney nodded and opened the door to leave, before stopping. "One last thing," She looked at me, her eyes staring into my soul. "I see the way you look at Julian. He's not up for grabs." She left the room, leaving the conversation at that.

That bothered me a lot. I assumed at that moment she was just jealous that he seemed to have a fondness to me, one that I learned yesterday that he had before and was still there. Something nagged at me though: was he with someone else? Had he not told me that he had moved on and kept our rings in his car just to reminisce? Viney's words got me thinking that maybe I was no longer Julian's muse.

Later on that night Julian came back to Viney's house from working. He had worked at a gas station about a mile away from Viney's. As soon as he walked in, I grabbed his wrist without second thought and brought him to my room, shutting my door.

Julian was confused as to why that happened. "Everything okay?"

I looked at him. "Tell me something, and don't lie to me."

Julian nodded. "Okay..? Why would I lie?"

"Just don't, Okay?"

Julian held his hands up. "Okay, alright. What's this about?"

I sat on my bed. "When you told me that you wanted to see if what we had is still there, did you mean that?"

Julian looked at me, wondering if what I was saying was a joke, but he must have saw the sincerity in my eyes and he sat on my bed next to me. "Of course I meant it. Why wouldn't I?"

I looked down. "I was told that you're 'not up for grabs'".

Julian had to think about that for a minute before realizing what I meant by that. "Who told you that?"

"Viney..."

Julian rolled his eyes. "She's just jealous that I'm not as close to her as I am with you." He rubbed my back gently, comfortingly. "I haven't seen any other women ever since you went into your coma. She's tried to get me to move on, but I never did."

I looked at him after he said that. "Never..?"

Julian shook his head. "Never." His hand gently brushed my cheek as he moved the hair from out of my face. "I couldn't move on after you went comatose."

I smiled and hugged him. That made me feel so much better, as clearly I still really loved him and it upset me when Viney had told me that. While I had been waiting for him to get back, I had been a little mad at the possibility that he had lied to me, but it turned out that I was a little mad over nothing. I was glad about that.

Julian hugged me back, and we stayed that was for several seconds. It was comforting to know that he never gave up on me in the 4 years I was gone. I looked up at him. "There's one thing that still bothers me though."

He looked at me. "What's that?"

"The other day, when you and Viney argued after I had changed, what were you going to say before I cut you off?"

Julian opened his mouth, finding himself unable to get anyone out of his throat, and thought about it. He then looked at her. "It's best that we not discuss that while she's around."

That sent off all kinds of alarms, that maybe Viney knew something about my comatose and was just hiding it. "If you knew about it, how come you-"

"Because if I were to have said anything, I wouldn't be here."

That shut me up for a moment. So now not only did Viney know, based on speculation from how Julian reacted to her asking him about it, but Julian had also known and possibly no one knew about it but him and Viney. The look I gave him had a hint of mistrust and he must have saw it.

Julian sighed. "I know, I'm not one to be trusted right now, but you gotta believe when I say that talking about this has to be for another time." His eyes pleaded me to stop the conversation before Viney overheard anything that was being said. I dropped the subject and nodded, letting the conversation be as is until we can talk more about it.

Julian smiled slightly and kissed my forehead, then got up and went to my door. "By the way, I figured tonight we could go out for a night drive maybe somewhere out in the country to go star gazing. I remember how much you loved to do that. Maybe we can get back into doing that."

I smiled at him. "Sounds like a plan."