Silence (Surrender Sequel)

One

{Here we go, back into the fray! First of all, I'm pretty damn excited about this story, probably more so than I was with Surrender so hopefully it all comes across the way I imagined it. If you're confused at any point in this I'll try to answer as many questions as I can without giving away too much, but for the most part just hang in there with me, okay?   This chapter is dedicated to @eatreadwriterepeat because you just need a little bit of Diana guidance to get your shit together and carry on with your writing. She is a God send so READ HER STORIES ASAP. I was going to post this yesterday but my internet was PMSing so here it is a day late!}

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June 4th, 2015

Psyche Ward of the Boston Memorial Hospital

"I still can't figure out 7 across." I say, sticking the pencil behind my ear, glancing up at Rae, expecting her to turn her head and ask me to read the clue to her, but like always; she doesn't. I toss the paper on the bed and give up for the day. I scoot my chair closer to hers and sit in front of her, staring out the window, trying to imagine what she's seeing, if she's seeing anything at all. I peek at her from the corner of my eye, watching as she occasionally blinks, her face set in stone and her body stiff and unmoving. Her hair is longer, it sits just past her shoulders now and her face has aged since last June. I rub my eyes, fighting off the exhaustion I feel and sit back in my chair, staring at the setting sun, wondering how it's been a year since she was first admitted. This month would also mark a year since Harry died, another thing I just can't wrap my mind around. I haven't heard her voice in a year or seen her smile, or laugh or felt her hands in mine and the gentle way they used to travel up my chest and tangle themselves in my hair. Jesus it's been a year. A fucking year stuck in this hell hole they call a hospital with their bare white walls and thin, starched sheets. It's been a year and we're both still stuck here, day in and day out with nothing on the other side of this but another year of her silence to drive me right into insanity, maybe even into a room right next to hers, or better yet, a bed in the same room. I haven't been home today and judging by how exhausted I feel I probably won't make it home until tomorrow morning. I need to shower, shave and change my clothes. If I run home tonight then I can stay longer tomorrow before I stop at home... Just then the door opens and in walks Roberta, the nurse that's in charge of checking Rae's vitals every few hours, followed by my mom. Over the past year we've become well acquainted with each other and it's because of her that I'm allowed to come and go whenever I want. She's a woman in her late fifties, very kind and very patient. You'd have to be in this situation, especially with someone as stubborn as Rae. 

"Hi Louis." She chirps, smiling at me as she glances at Rae's chart and then pulls some rubber gloves out of her pocket, "And hello to you too Miss Rae." I scoot my chair back to its original position and let her waddle over to Rae to begin. My mom hands me a cup of coffee and bends down to kiss the top of my head, sitting next to me, cradling her cup in her hands as we both settle in to watch. She's been coming in for a few hours every day to sit with me and Rae. She usually reads or talks about the kids to distract me for a little while. Last June I spent a few weeks back at home while I recovered and I'd told her everything that happened in Seattle. That's the great thing about my Mom, she's always been there to listen to me, to encourage me to keep going even when I want to give up and back then that's all I wanted. In the beginning it was her who dragged me out of bed and brought me here. I hated it at first, I hated the smell, the feeling, but soon after that she gave up on trying to get me to go home. 

"How have you been Roberta?" I saw her about 4 hours ago, not much could have changed in that amount of time but I need to fill the air around us with something. 

"Oh just fine, just fine. I was just getting Jay up to speed on everything that's been happening the last few days." She straps the blood pressure gauge around Rae's arm, her hand bobbing up and down limply. I glance over at my mom and see her smile from behind her coffee cup. There isn't much to get caught up on, things here are always the same, but I know she indulges the nurses and asks more questions than she really needs to.