Captive - HIATUS

Chapter Sixteen

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Loki's POV

[Y/N]? Loki slowly wakes up, feeling [Y/N] shaking in his arms. Loki has gone in and out of sleep since lying down with [Y/N]. Not once has she woken up in the twelve hours they've been in her bed together. Everytime Loki tried to move off her bed, [Y/N] only cuddled closer to him and held onto his arm tighter, convincing Loki to stay. But now it seems [Y/N] has awoken.

Loki looks down to see [Y/N]'s face buried into his chest while she trembles. Other than shaky breaths and soft sniffles, she doesn't make a sound. Loki tightens his hold on her, holding her closer to him. "What's wrong, dearest?" [Y/N] stiffens before looking up at his face. Her face is tear stained and her lip trembles. Loki can see the fear in her eyes. Before he can say anything else, she quickly buries her face into his chest again. Loki feels her try to breathe regularly and to not cry. She only succeeds in crying harder.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Loki asks softly. [Y/N] shakes her head against his chest. "That's alright, darling, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." [Y/N] attempts again to stop crying and once again fails. Loki massages her back gently, hoping to sooth her. "It's alright, dearest. Sometimes all we can do is cry our feelings out. There's no shame in that."

Loki falls silent, letting [Y/N] cry in peace. He keeps holding her and massaging her back, hoping the gentle touch will help her. [Y/N] cries and cries and cries. Loki wonders what could be the reason for her tears. She was so frightened when she realized I woke up. Am I the reason for her tears? Does she not want to be held? But she does want to cry against me it seems, so it may not be that. But she may be doing that to please me, I suppose. Did she have a nightmare? About him? Poor thing doesn't need anything like that happening to her now. Is she hurt? Sick?

Loki tries to ask [Y/N] things without prying. "Are you hurt?" "Do you want me to leave?" "How can I help?" Everytime, [Y/N] shakes her head as if she's pleading with him to not speak. So once again, Loki falls silent. He holds and massages her, willing to do so as long as needed.

After several minutes, [Y/N]'s sobbing slows. Soon, she stops crying. Loki continues holding her, not wanting to frighten her with sudden movements. [Y/N] stays still, face buried in Loki's chest and wrapped in his arms. Loki feels her fiddle with his sleeve, her hand having rested on his shoulder since last night. After several minutes, Loki decides to try to speak to her again.

"Feeling any better?" he asks.

"Little bit," [Y/N] answers, her voice muffled by Loki's chest.

"Good, good." Loki waits a few seconds before asking his next question. "Do you want to talk about it?" [Y/N] fervently shakes her head against his chest. "We don't have to if you don't want to. I'm always here for you if you ever want to talk about anything. But don't if it makes you uncomfortable." [Y/N] nods and Loki continues. "Do you remember last night when I woke you up?" [Y/N] again nods. "Good, good. I wouldn't ever sleep with you without your consent, dearest. I just hoped you remembered consenting last night." She nods again. "Do you want me to leave? Or to get out of your bed? Or do you want me to stay?" [Y/N] doesn't respond. Loki can feel her fidget more. "Please, speak your mind dearest. If you don't want me here, please tell me. If I don't have your consent, I shouldn't be here holding you. I will honor your wishes."

"Can, can I be alone? P-please?" [Y/N] stutters.

"Of course, darling, of course," Loki says as he unwraps his arms. She backs away from him, letting him get off her bed. Loki swiftly stands up. He gives [Y/N] one last look before walking out and closing the door behind him.

***

Your POV

You don't dare tell Loki why you were crying. If you tell him details, you may be giving him an idea on how to 'protect' you. If you only tell him it was a nightmare, he might try to pry. Or he could assume the nightmare was about him, and you don't want to have Loki trying to comfort you over something you don't want to think about.

Last night, Loki told you he would leave if you ever felt uncomfortable with him holding you on the bed. You didn't think he'd actually stay true to his word. That's why you never said anything when he woke up. But here you are, no Loki in the room or on the bed.

You get off the bed wrapped in the blanket Loki summoned last night and walk to the window. The window sill is wide enough for you to sit on, and there's a cushion that looks comfortable enough. You sit down on it, leaning against the wall on the side and resting your feet on the other side of the cushion, your chin resting against your knees. You use your palm to wipe any tears away as you look outside. You pull the necklace you wear out from underneath your shirt. Thank heavens Loki doesn't know about it. It's only a necklace, but it has immense meaning to you. Better to keep it hidden in a hostile environment than to risk anything happening to it.

You rub your thumb against the charm. The black curved charm has a small indent from you repeatedly doing this action when you're stressed. The indent isn't very noticeable, the material is durable enough to last for a long time. It's only there because of the near constant rubbing from when you were younger. But as time has gone on, you haven't done it as much. Though you'll probably start up the habit again now.

You try to think logically about what's happened. Well, he probably isn't going to do the spell on me if he plans to teach me self defense. If he could control me, he could fight for me if needed, so there wouldn't be any point in teaching me. And he was able to put the spell on Wanda quickly. He wouldn't have kidnapped me, he would have just put it on me and left me alone. Well, maybe not. If he's so obsessed with me he probably would have still taken me. But he wouldn't have promised to free me eventually, would he? So maybe he won't...but it's always a possibility. And if anything happens that worries him, he may decide it's a worthwhile option.

You stare at the door before looking back out the window. You know you have to leave your room eventually. Loki will have you come out to teach you self defense at some point, and you won't be able to keep your sanity while confined to one room for long. Being tied up before was really starting to get to you, and you don't want something like that again. But for now, the best thing for you to do is to sit on the window sill with your necklace and hope for the best.