Boys I Loved Before [Completed]

My Persisting Emotions

I keep telling myself not to be succumbed.

Being swallowed by infatuation brings nothing but pain and ruined friendships.  And I frankly had enough of that, all I wanted was just to enjoy this year and focus on my relationships with friends and to love myself more.

I had so many problems within myself and I didn't want to add that stupid darn love to one of my lists.

At first everything was fine. I never found anyone appealing or I atleast try not to. But you just had to come along and try to break open these sealed shut emotions of mine.

I only saw you as my dear friend, the guy who's easy to be with and talk while we laugh every single day. It was fun, and you made me feel like it wasn't really bad being in that class.

Every day was a blast of joy and I couldn't even seal that smile of mine. We talked and talked, until we'd realize we haven't been paying attention-but it didn't matter.

Then I convinced myself you were just a friend, nothing else. Or so I try to hide.

But suddenly all I can think about is you. From the thought about childhood to you, no matter how I shake it, your name will always linger in my mind.

But I won't be lured, not anymore or ever again. So I persist with these darn emotions.

At some point  I could imagine scenarios about you and me, and I couldn't shake it off no matter how I try to think of another thought.

Then I weeped. I didn't want to like you, I really don't want to. I don't want to lose you as a friend because of these selfish emotions of mine, or how distant I might be. I didn't want to fall in love and experience the same thing all again.

I thought I wouldn't be attracted,  but I was. I easily was lured.

So please, my heart, I beg you.

Don't like him, or I'll be miserable again.