The Semi-Endless Book of Short Stories

The Shattering Effect (PG-13)

Berg stared at his hands with only one thought running though his mind. Only one thought repeating again and again as he knelt above a grave with the name “Tony R Lamor” carved into the headstone.

His one and only thought was this.

What have I done?

Bergenton D. Bedauern and Tony R. Lamor had once been the best of friends before a quarrel erupted between them that cost them their friendship, respect, and, in the long run, a life. I will not go into their past friendship since the court has restricted me to only the records provided by the parents of both Lamor and Bedauern, including Bedauren himself. They also said I cannot bring up their friendship because it was Bedauern’s own request by saying that he’d “rather remember someone I believed was insignificant and let that haunt me instead of how we use to be.” I believe he said this so that he could imagine how his life would have been like without the quarrel.

Not many people except for Berg and Tony, who died of a successful suicide attempt, remember what the reason had been.

Aside from restrictions, the few things that the court has allowed me to use are the actual words take from Tony’s suicide letter to Berg, the recently reported assaults and bullying cases on Tony, the names and locations of Tony’s home, Berg’s home, and the high school that they had gone to.

They have also granted me to use my imagination.

Berg’s mind went back two months before the suicide to the time when he and Tony were rivals. They were both highly competitive, especially with sports. The JV Basketball final was the turning point of both of them, both socially and mentally.

The score was ten to seven, with the home team struggling desperately to take the lead. Some of the Chicago High Snake’s Basketball team remember how the assaults began, but didn’t have too much information to give on this rather tentative subject. All that was said was that after he failed to score the points that would win the game, Berg and two other team mates stalked Tony outside and physically assaulted him. They also began to harass and bully him at school and even in public areas.

The fail of Tony Lamor, was the reason.

Berg knew it was wrong to bully, but was stubborn and a sore loser. You can imagine how losing a basketball final due to someone you neither respected of even trusted can make you feel this way. So over the course of those next two months, Berg brutally bullied and stalked Tony. He posed multiple threats on the internet as “revenge_seeker_112213,” damaged Tony’s belongings and his person, and had spread multiple rumors about him as well.

For Tony, it is better to simply put that he, like other suicide victims, couldn’t take it anymore. Even before his “fail of the final,” as he put it in the suicide note, he had been emotionally and verbally bullied. Afterwards, will all the elements working against him so to speak, it was inevitable that Tony would kill himself on January 22nd in the year of 2014. Exactly two months since his fail to win the game for his team and to try and earn a better reputation then the one he already had.

Berg could still remember what had happened the last day he had seen Tony. Every detail was so vivid in his mind that it scared him. He had walked by the counseling office when Tony burst through the door, shoving Berg into the wall.

“Hey, watch it!” Berg yelled at him. “Next time you do that I’ll cut you up!”

The words hung in the air. A feeling of dread hung over him. Normally tony would have retaliated and said something back, but this time was different.

Very different.

Berg cursed and walked off. My own imagination, he thought bitterly.

His imagination ended up becoming reality 20 hours later, and began with “You Killed Tony Lamor.” News people by the dozens come into Berg’s house to interview him and to ask him the dreaded question.

“Do you even regret what you’ve done?”

To some he said yes, to other’s he said no. Berg didn’t really know if he should feel sorry for being the cause of Tony’s suicide. On the other hand, his conscience told him that it was wrong and that he had known it since he started harassing Tony. It was after the papers were printed and the crimes fully convicted that Tony’s mother came over.

She was wearing her work clothes, high heels, and her makeup was smeared. She was holding a piece of paper that was neatly folded. Handing it to Berg she said, “This is for you.”

It was a letter from Tony.

“I’m sorry,” Berg said.

“Say that to Tony,” she said, voice cracking into sobs of remorse. She left without saying anything else.

Taking the letter to his room, Berg began to read. What he read made him want to die from the inside out.

Dear Bergenton,

I plan on killing myself as soon as I’m done writing this letter for two reasons. One, to remind myself of all the pain you inflicted on me the last two months of my life, and two, to show you how much actual pain you caused me.

Every day I feel dead. Everything I do is in vain because I know that, in the end, I stay in the exact same place of the pecking order. I wake up and cry because of what I have to face. There is nothing for me at Chicago High, nor for anywhere else.

I cannot like with this torment. I cannot keep on going to school only to see you come over and slam me into a wall. My bone’s ache, my lungs scream, and my old self has died ever since the fail of the final.

You killed my old self. You killed me, my hopes, my goals, my dreams, everything. You destroyed everything.

And now it’s all going to go away now. Now there’s nothing to fear. Not even pain and eternal sleep.

To the person responsible of my death, I bid you farewell.

Signed,

Tony R. Lamor

 

A week later, after the burial of Tony’s body, Berg stood in front of the head piece.

He looked at his hands.

“What have I done?”