Meetings With A Skeleton

Zathract Mist

Zathract Mist was not exactly one who was often surprised. He dealt with weird and wonderful and unnerving things on a daily basis and had seen more death than a usual person his age. Or really, people in general. He was also somewhat a professional, and sometimes even acted like it.

However, because he was only fifteen years old, and had had both his parents and his mentor murdered at an earlier age, Zathract did not know much about things that went on in other countries. He also did not know much about things other than general knowledge of magic and the world around him. He had heard of Skulduggery Pleasant, famous Detective in Ireland, who had saved the world numerous times with his partner. Zathract did not even remember the name of the partner… He had heard that this person was also referred to as the Skeleton Detective.

But he had never actually expected Skulduggery Pleasant to actually be a skeleton. As such, he was completely taken by surprise when he rounded a corner of the Australian Sanctuary and saw that the tall figure in the fine suit he was greeted by actually was a skeleton.

“Zathract Mist?” asked the skeleton in a voice so smooth it could have been made of velvet.

“Yes,” Zathract replied slowly. “You’re Skulduggery Pleasant?”

“Indeed I am,” the detective replied.

“You’re a skeleton,” Zathract muttered.

“Detective Pleasant is rather unique,” the Grand Mage said to Zathract, not at all his usual jokey self, “As you can see. He’s travelled to Australia specifically for this sudden outbreak of zombie infestations.”

“He’s a skeleton,” Zathract repeated.

Skulduggery titled his head slightly.

“He’s only fifteen,” the Grand Mage said feebly to Skulduggery, then turned back to Zathract. “Are you quite done?”

Zathract frowned at Skulduggery Pleasant for a moment longer, then shook his head, clearing it.

“We don’t need help with the zombie outbreaks, Grand Mage,” he said. “I told you this before, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Grand Mage Thyrow Slit admitted. “But I still felt that the situation was getting a little out of hand. Almost a quarter of Australia’s population is now infected, Detective Mist, and the Irish Sanctuary kindly agreed to send an experienced Detective over to assist us.”

“I have it under control…” muttered Zathract. “I even got Nix back to help and I think Lyra and Stavan are going to come in as well. Slayn’s already here.”

“And none of them are qualified Sanctuary officials.”

“Which means they can’t do anything?”

“This is ridiculous…” Skulduggery interrupted. “Do you always bicker this much?”

“You’re a skeleton,” Zathract said again. “How do you even talk?”

“I’m not here to discuss the operating systems of my skeletal functions,” Skulduggery replied. “I’m here to put an end to a sudden outbreak of horrible creatures.”

“Zombies.”

“Same thing.”

“I’ll just leave you two to…familiarise…” the Grand Mage muttered, and walked off.

Zathract looked at Skulduggery.

Skulduggery looked at Zathract.

“Don’t suppose we could just put the ‘skeleton thing’ aside, could we?” he asked.

“Not likely,” Zathract replied.

“The zombies first,” Skulduggery said, beginning to walk while Zathract followed. “Then we’ll see about idle chatter.”

Skulduggery led him to the exit of the Sanctuary and Zathract followed him to his car.

“Get in,” Skulduggery said, unlocking it. “But you might want to sit in the back if the front seat isn’t right for you. Valkyrie will kill me if someone adjusts it again.” Noticing Zathract wasn’t getting in, Skulduggery looked up at him and titled his head again.

“You drive a Bentley?” he asked.

“A 1954 Bentley R-Type Continental, one of only 208 ever made. This car houses a six-cylinder, 4.5-litre engine and is retro-fitted central locking, climate control, satellite navigation and a host of other modern conveniences. It is not just a Bentley, my dear detective.” Skulduggery Pleasant told him all this very quickly, but very clearly.

Zathract still did not move, however, and continued staring at the Bentley.

“If you don’t like it, you can run alongside me as I drive,” Skulduggery said. “Now hurry up before I leave without you.”

“You drive a Bentley,” Zathract repeated. “That’s so cool. I could almost forget about the whole skeleton if it wasn’t…so pronounced.”

Skulduggery muttered something, then got in, and Zathract followed before adjusting the front seat to his liking. This received him a long look from the skeleton beside him and then a sigh.

“This had better be worth my time…” Skulduggery muttered.