Memory After Memory

Chapter 3

He nodded. "A lot has changed, but not me! If it makes you feel any better, I'm still the same goofy boy you remember."

I smiled. "That's a relief. It's good to have some familiarity."

"I tried. I didn't want to change myself too much so you don't recognize me."

I let out a light chuckle and looked back at him. "Hey Julian."

"Hm?"

I hesitated for a split second. "How often did you come visit for the last 4 years?"

Julian's eyes darkened, the glimmer that was there replaced by sadness, a hit in the gut to me, but no more than the answer. "Every day."

Every day, for 4 years, he had visited me, hoping I would one day wake up. That made me feel so much worse than what I initially felt before.

Julian faced me, a wave of calm mixed with serious hitting us. "What is the last thing you remember?"

If there was anything I could do to take away whatever pain was being made clear, I would take it away. Seeing my best friend like this is something I remembered that I hated seeing, and it seems that I still do hate seeing the pain in his eyes. That much about me hasn't changed. If there was anything, it was telling him the truth, even if it probably wasn't what he wanted to hear. 

"I remember hanging out with you guys 2 nights before my birthday. We went to a party with Viney and I remember you telling me to be careful." I said this in a state of memory, trying to recall everything. "I remember Viney getting lost in the crowd and a moment later, me and you were outside. I don't really know what happened at that point, but later that night me, you and Viney got into her car and she dropped me off, you walking me to the door. You let me go after my parents took me inside, thanking you for helping me to the door, then took me to my room. We had argued about the dumb choice I made and then I went to bed." I looked outside, trying to see if there was anything else that I remembered. "Before I went to bed, I remember telling my parents that I wish I was never around..." I felt tears sting my eyes as I spoke. "After that, I fell asleep after slamming my door behind them as they left." I looked at Julian. "Everything else until today is gone..."

Julian saw the tears and used the blanket I had to wipe them off my face, then brought me close in a comforting hug. I buried my face in him, my tears soaking his shirt as I sobbed about the dumbest thing I could've said to my parents and possibly the last considering I had no idea where they are anymore. Minutes felt like hours. I was just there as he kept me close to him. He was clearly not wanting to let go and I totally understood. He finally released me and I looked at him, though he was looking outside. 

I didn't follow his gaze, mainly because I didn't feel like looking outside. Just as I was about to ask Julian a question, Viney came in. "Hey guys."

Both Julian and I gave her a look she knew she would get: confusion, a little bit of mistrust, and just more confusion. Viney acknowledged the look with a nod. "Sorry about earlier. I just...I don't like the idea of drinking like I used to."

I only remembered 17-year-old Viney, the one that brought me to the party and was wild after that. I went over and put my hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. You can hang out with us if you'd like to."

Julian, on the other hand, didn't seem convinced whatsoever. He didn't say anything for a few minutes until I looked at him. He then nodded. "Yeah. If you want to."

Viney nodded and looked around. "Actually, Amy, we can make your room look more alive rather than dead."

Anything to get all this mistrust, sadness, and that damn lingering-in-my-mind question out of the air. "That's a wonderful idea!"