The Name of Desire

1

There, there he is...
The first time I saw him was when I was walking to the canteen to get lunch and accidentally bumped into him.
I cannot describe how I felt, I almost had a stroke, I had a panic attack and before I could even apologize I ran away, social anxiety is complicated you know...

It didn't take me much time to figure out what was his name, and it took me less time to get obsessed with him.
I might seem like a stalker, but I really am not, or at least that's what I think...

My life has been relatively good ever since I can remember, I'm not popular but it's not like I'm not recognized by my classmates. Good grades are not my thing, unlike Oliver, who is a 100% score student, I am a very artsy person, studying isn't my strongest part.
Even though I can never get as good grades as I would like I study really hard so I can impress him, with no success because I'm sure he doesn't even know me, like, he has it everything, he's popular, he has the top score of the class, he is pretty, and he even made it to the track team, could anyone like him like me? The answer is no. Why would someone so successful like someone like me?

"Mia, c'mon, you are drooling all over the table, stop looking you're gonna scare him"

Sara is my best friend, we've known each other since first grade and haven't separated since. I literally wouldn't know what to do without her, she is my mentor and my muse. Well... although Oliver is kind of my muse too, but he doesn't even know it.
Sara has made my life easier in a lot of ways, she helped me a lot with my anxiety, she always took care of me, and I always took care of her.

"MIA! I'm trying to explain to you maths! Can you concentrate!?"

Probably not.. With him right there in front of me.. It seems that every time I look at him time stops and all I can do is stare. It seems as if everyone else didn't exist, that words don't mean anything...
Awe, Mia, get yourself together! You said your wouldn't fall in love anymore!

Just if he knew I existed.

"How long has it been?"

"How long what?"

"How long has it been since the first time I saw  him?"

"Oh Mia, I don't know.. We should have a break or something, how about shopping?"

Sara always knows when I  need a break from my thoughts, nearly all the times that I'm with her we end up shopping. It's like I can't stop thinking about him.
It's not once, not twice, but all the time that he crosses my mind.

"HEYYYY LOOK AT THIS SHIRT!"