2/12/18
as she listened to worship ,
tears welled up in her eyes.
she didn't know why ,
or maybe she did.
God told her that every flaw has been removed ,
her selfishness ,
her lack of respect for others ,
her ignorance ,
all was declared to be written off.
However, she still held onto those feelings.
she didn't know how to let go.
she was blinded by her ignorance ,
thus she hurt others with her spiteful words.
God declared her fear of trusting others was written off ,
however she feared even more.
she thought she knew herself the best.
she thought she had control over emotions.
she thought by letting her feelings loose online ,
she wouldn't hurt others.
little did she know ,
her actions went back to bite her in the butt.
she hurt someone ,
again.
she didn't mean to ,
neither did she intend to.
However ,
she still did.
The wall between her and people grew higher ,
it grew wider ,
it grew thicker.
she thought if she kept to herself no one would get hurt.
she thought if she shared her feelings to a wider audience , she'd be safe.
However , she was extremely wrong.
her fear of trust grew.
her fear of confiding in someone grew.
If she couldn't tell someone directly nor can she widely generalize her feelings ,
she'd be better off not uttering a single word.
It would save her from regret.
She wouldn't hurt others ,
neither would she get hurt.
It was a win-win situation.
she was sorry for the things she had done.
she was sorry for offending people when she didn't mean to.
she was sorry for countering others' remarks on her flaws with rude words.
she was sorry she lacked knowledge on respect.
she was sorry for being a hypocrite.
she was sorry for her ignorance.
However ,
she was afraid.
she was afraid by keeping to herself ,
she would get lonely.
she didn't want to be lonely ,
but it seemed to be the best option.
she decided for the happiness of others ,
she would sacrifice hers.
