Portal | Extras + Random + Oneshots

I'm bored so Cell Block Tango

[Poor and confused gaurd]

And now, the six married murderesses of Cook County Jail

In their rendition of 'The Cell Block Tango'!

[Emily, Tess, Brynne, Kate, Ana, Livy]

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!

He had it coming, he had it coming

He only had himself to blame!

If you had been there, if you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!

[Emily]

You know how people have these little habits that get you down? 

Like...Thomas! Thomas likes to chew gum--no, not chew. Pop!

So, I come home this one day and I'm really irritated and looking for a little sympathy, and there's Thomas. 

Lying' on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing--no, not chewing, POPPING!

So, I said to him, I said "You pop that gum one more time..."

And he did. 

So I took a shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots

Into his head!

[Emily and others]

He had it coming, he had it coming

He only had himself to blame!

If you had been there, if you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

[Tess]

I met Aaron Burr about two years ago and he told me he was single. 

We hit it off right away. 

So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, 

I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner

Then I found out, single he told me? 

Single, my ass! 

Not only was he married, oh no. 

He had SIX wives; one of those Mormons, you know?

So that night, when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink as usual...

You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic!

[Tess and others]

He had it coming, he had it coming

He took a flower in its prime!

And then he used it; and he abused it

It was a murder, but not a crime!

[Ana]

Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carving up the chicken for dinner, 

minding my own business,

and in storms my husband Jack in a jealous rage