So, everything was finished.
On the seventh day, Gay just slept in and casually didn't wake up for a day...
Before Gay was gonna go to sleep, I asked Them what made today special, and They said it wasn't, it was just a day of rest, but Their PR team told me he meant that the day was sanctified and special because it was a day of rest.
This was the earth. It had everything that it itself needed except someone to show off its fabulous self to.
The plants hadn't even started growing yet because Gay isn't the gardening type and totally forgot they needed water.
When They were reminded, They casually sprayed the ground with a spray bottle and called it a day.
The earth was a selfish prick and wanted someone other than a creepy guy on insta to give it attention, so Gay took a piece of the earth and made the man. Gay breathed into his nose and somehow the man came to life.
The man inspired Gay to garden, so They made a giant ass garden and beautifully named it Eden because "I be eatin' in it." They put the man in there and instead of keeping him in there like SOME IMMORTAL BEINGS, They let him leave if he wanted to.
Because Gay suddenly was a 42 year-old mom having a midlife crisis, They grew every tree that They found pretty, but also good for food. Again because of the aforesaid reason, They also made a yin and yang tree in the center of the garden that They called the Tree of Life.
There was a river that came out of garden (installed by yours truly) and from there, it split into four parts. The name of the first is the Pishon (like Piss on, don't ask); it winds through an area where there is gold. The gold of that land is decent at best. The name of the second river is the Gihon (I've given up asking); it winds through the entire land of Cush (misspelled Kush). The name of the third river is the Tigris (Their favorite animal). And the fourth river is the Euphrates (euphoria or whatever).
Gay got super bored of this whole "mid-life crisis" thing, so They gave the garden over to the man, who seemed enthused to have something to do. Gay said, "You are basically the only thing on this earth I can boss around, so here. You can eat from any tree or plant, but you can't eat from my ying yang tree because it's... like... poison, or whatever... idk"
Gay also said, "This man can't just be earth's side hoe, he needs like a pet or something."
So Gay wanted to spoil Their child as much as possible, so They just started making stuff. First he made most of the land animals. They of course made the tiger first cause it's obviously the best. They then made a ton of rats with wings, cause why not. Now the man had been making fun of Their naming abilities, so They made the man name it (as long as they named a tiger a tiger of course). The man proved Them wrong, and all of his names stuck. Apparently when you're sober, you have better ideas.
Adam realized that a feral platypus is not a very good garden aid, so he asked Gay for just one more creature. So Gay said, "Yeah, sure... whatever kiddo, just go sleep." So Adam fell asleep and so did Gay... When Gay woke up, They remembered Their promise. They were searching so frantically that They decided to give science a try. Realizing you need DNA to clone, he casually stole one of Adam's ribs and cloned him. Adam woke up in very obvious agony as you do when a rib is stolen from you oh so casually. Gay snapped Their finger and Adam was healed, but like why didn't he do that sooner? Anyway, Gay introduced the man to the other man, and they seemed to get along well enough.
The original man said, "This guy looks exactly like me but like a bit worse cause I'm the star here; since he looks like me, I guess he's basically what I am, so we'll just call him man."
Oh yeah, weird important detail imma just throw in here, they are both naked and proud of it.
