You Still Have Me

Time and time again, I bought into every beautiful lie, every empty promises you made. I let myself hope, believe that you will make good your promises.

ー 我在乎你 ー
You said I mattered.

ー 反证不会负你 ー
You said you will never turn your back on me.

Chang'an...
I gave you my heart.
I entrusted my life in your hands.
All I wanted was to be your everything.

Yet you still chose your duty, responsibilities over me.
You still chose to leave me...

A single tear, as clear as crystal rolled down her carefully made up face but she made no move to wipe it away. Her apathetic face matched her stoic composure as she remained unnervingly still, sat on the edge of the bed; - waiting.

Silent footsteps carefully camouflaged in the whispers of the wind, stealthily approached the private chamber. But if she could so easily be caught off guard after being in this covert business for so long, then she should deservingly be killed many times over now.

Knowing yet unmoving, - she remained tranquilly sat, not even a muscle moved out of place. She couldn't see who it was, but tell-tale signs gave the silent arrival away.

Neither spoke nor acknowledged one another until she felt the warmth of another body sat next to her.

"Do you regret...?"

Still shielded from seeing him in person, only his soft uncertainty carried across the wind. She couldn't remember when she last heard his voice without heavily laced with regret and melancholy.

Wan Mei understood the unspoken words of his question and merely shook her head in reply.

"After all these times, what is there left to regret?" She said resignedly.

She could feel his lithe hands conscientiously resting on either side of her shoulders, gingerly steering her in his direction.

She waited for his next course of action.
He waited for her refusal.

They remained at stalemate until the wait became unbearable.

"Refuse me now, and I shall go..." He was the first to speak, but she could hear desperation crack in his hushed voice. Tremor audibly heard in the breath he drew before carrying on, "... but if we continue, I will never let you go again..."

It was a generous offer on his part. But she knew there was no turning back.

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to..."

Taking that as her consent to proceed, he removed his hands from her shoulders to lift away the red silk veil over her head.

It took a second to adjust to the sudden assault of light in her eyes.

But before her, was not the man she had hoped to see.

A laugh tumbled from her lips.

It dawned on her that this must have been what he had felt upon regaining his eyesight years ago. The person who has been by his side all those times was not the first person he saw; just like how he was not the counterpart she had expected to see at her bridal night.

"I am so used to seeing you in shades of green, that red on you is quite the shocker," she said as her eyes appraised the godly Gong Zi in the elaborate red attire befitting a king's wedding.

No witty comeback, but reciprocated with his signature wry grin.

"You are exceptionally beautiful tonight..." the princely man said with sincerity that should have made any bride the happiest person on Earth. But her heart has been locked frozen for so long, Wan Mei couldn't really return the favour.