June 19 2019 (wednesday)
kakagaling ko lang sa school..sobrang sakit ng ulo ko..sinisipon nahihilo pati inuubo.
Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na 'sana someone can be concern for once' then i smiled.
i chatted someone...someone very special! :D
Yung taong yun yung laging nag papasaya sakin.
Pero di na kami masyadong nag papansinan..kasi..busy daw siya nung summer eh..
So i agreed..anong magagawa ko?..ano niya ba ko?.
I was so stress i cant even control myself..so i layed down in bed and chatted her again..
It was a good chat..madaming napagusapan...mukhang ako nga lang yung nag totopic eh..
And by the way...dati niya kong happy pill : ) we were beside each other when we have problems in life...we solve it together..
Then guess what??..she fell inlove with someone..
Oo aaminin ko nag selos ako...pero di ko pinakita..happy pill lang naman ako..di naman ako jowa para mag selos diba?? Its just..weird..
So yun..back to the chat..
Useless topics..even our topic is her crush..nasasaktan ako pero...no...its wrong to feel this way for someone na wala ka lang naman para sakanya..
Nung hindi niya na ko happy pill...i didn't gave her away! No way! But...siya yung unang bumitaw..so anong magagawa ko? Kundi tanggapin na lang ang katotohanan na wala na siya sa tabi ko..yeah were still friends..and thats great to know right? Pero the greatest is malaman mo na di ka niya bibitawan pati sinukuan...pero my expectation is wrong..umalis parin siya,as the way i expected for her to do..
I just calmed myself for a little bit...masakit sa damdamin pero kailangan kong tanggapin..
I have a promise for her that i will never break..
That promise is...'di ko siya iiwan hanggang dulo' until kaya ko pa...wala eh..nag sawa..
Di ko siya ni-let go..i kept my promise and move on in life...
I prayed to god that lagi siyang ingatan..lagi siyang gabayan...and to say to god na 'please god take care of her,i love her so much more than myself..' tas sign of the cross.
Di ako banal...my habit is just pray for the people i lost and pray for the wonderful people that i have.
Yes im weak...
I know i cant take care of her..
Im soft...i cry easily...but i keep it strong inside...
Para malaman nila na im okay and i can do this without her...
All those thought comes in my mind..
I forgot that im talking to her..
Masaya akong makita siyang masaya sa iba...as long as her happy im happy :D
Di ako yung gusto niyang tao..
Di ako yung mabait
Di ako ma effort
All those things that you want from someone is not in mine...its in his.
Im not the kindest...but i can make you happy like the greatest person in the whole wild world...
Pag pasensyahan mo na ah...
Nasanay kasi ako eh eheh..
Hope you can understand..
-jenduek.
