Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

Bloopers and Cut Scenes

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Clint gasped as he felt a hot white pain in his chest. He looked down and saw Joshua digging a knife into it.  He fell to his knees.

"Y'know," Joshua smirked. "This is...uh...sorry, what's the line?" Joshua looked at the author with a sheepish smile. Clint groaned and rolled his eyes.

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Peter grabbed Joshua and tied a web around his neck. Joshua choked and began coughing. "Did I do it too tight?! Sorry!" Peter yelled, unwrapping the web.

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"You are...my fire..." Shuri sang softly as she browsed through something on her phone, waiting for the scene to begin. "The one desire~! Believe...when I say, I want it that way--"

"TELL ME WHY!!!" Harley and Peter screamed, scaring Shuri.

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"If happiness was erased from the world, would sadness be also?" Peter rubbed his chin. "That's...not the line--"

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"You done yeed your last haw." Joshua mumbled as he put in his red contacts, causing Peter to burst into laughter.

"What the fuck, Ben?!"

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"You want me...to throw the knife at his head?" Rhodey asked for the fifth time. He raised his glass of water. "Cheers to hoping Tony doesn't die before Endgame." He took a sip, ignoring the shocked and betrayed faces of everyone in the room.

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"Uh..." Sam mumbled as he looked over the script.

"An intellectual." Clint commented.

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"Kiss my ass....bItch!!" Peter yelled. "Shove my middle finger up your booty hol--that go sexual...SO fast." Everyone in the room began dying of laughter.

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"Walrus boners--" Peter began but was immediately silenced by Miles.

"I already hate where that's going."

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"Who are you?!" Wade looked to the kitchen and saw Peter holding up a frying pan. "I'm not afraid to use this?!"

"I...forgot the line but this is a total knock off of Rapunzel." Wade commented, causing Peter to laugh.

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"DARIUS GET OFF SET!" The author yelled from the sidelines.

"I just wanted to touch the webs--" Darius mumbled as he scurried off.

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"I would fuck you but I'm already horny for Spidey." Wade told some random chic at the bar. There was a moment of silence.

"Was that my line?" Peter asked, poking his head through the door.

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"Family hearts of children pornos!" Peter screamed at the villain.

"Woah, hey." Flash said. "We aren't trying to get arrested."

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"If she can't see that, then fuck her." Ned said.

"L-Like Flash did..." Peter mumbled. Ned burst into laughter, not having been told that was Peter's line. "Dude, what the fuck, man? I'm over here sobbing and you're laughing your ass off."

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"So...you into cartwheels?" Wade asked Peter.

"Cartwheels?" Peter replied, chuckling slightly.

"Yes, I heard that some people get hElla turned on by those. It's like some weird gymnastic fetish or something." Wade shrugged.

"Wade?"

"Yeah?"

"We're rolling."

"Oh..."

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"What...what are you...?" The villain asked Spiderman.

"I am bisexual." Spiderman replied, dead serious. He broke into laughter as he tied up the villain with his webs.

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A/N

Yo I had to wait to publish this because I wrote a blooper from Wade's Question Corner (Ep. 7)

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Susie: Okay, see that guy working at the counter?

Darius: Yeah?

Susie: That's Dominic. Isn't he dreamy?

Darius: I mean, I'm not into dudes so I really can't say--

Susie: Ack! He's looking this way!

Darius: Isn't that a good thing? He noticed when you came in, that's a sign he likes you!

Susie: Really? Oh no! He's coming this way! Uh, quick! Act like we're talking about something important!

Darius: O-Okay!

Dominic: *walks over*

Susie: So, you accepted anyone else?

Darius: Yeah! justakuudere submitted Avery and they've been accepted!

Susie: That's so exciting for her! Oh, hey Dominic!

Dominic: Hey Susie! Who's this?

Susie: Oh, him? He's just a coworker!

Darius: "just a coworker"?

Dominic: Oh, that's good! I was afraid that such a beautiful girl had a boyfriend.

Susie: *blushes*

Dominic: How about you and me go and grab a bite sometime?

Susie: S-Sure!

Darius: This is torture--

Dominic: *writes phone number on napkin.* Call me~

Darius: *fake smiles* That went amazingly!

Susie: I know right?! Who knew all I needed was to bring a guy with me and make him jealous?! If all goes well, I'll have a boyfriend!

Darius: *smile falters* Y-Yeah! Best of luck!