David, I breathe out. He doesn't hear me. I want him to. But at the same time I don't want him to hear me, out of fear that he'd be too confused. Startled. Astounded. He'd beg me to stay here, with him, to live, and I would have to explain to him that I couldn't. I thought of the last time we'd actually seen each other in person.
~~♥~~
We were on the couch, just relaxing, having a lazy Sunday, just the two of us, alone. "I start touring again in a week," he said. "I know," I responded. "Are you mad?" I shook my head. "I don't mind, really. It's fine." He smiled, and I smiled back. "We have all day together. What do you want to do?" He asked. "I don't care. It doesn't matter. I'm just glad to have you here, with me." I looked up at him. "We are all alone..." I caught a mischievious glint in his eye.I smiled up at him. "We are, aren't we, now?" He smirked.
I smiled at him, and he pulled me up so we were both standing. I laughed as he lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. "David..." He raised an eyebrow. "Promise to love me forever." I smiled. "I promise to love you forever." He smiled. "Very convincing." He began to kiss down my neck...
~~♥~~
Now there's no forever.
I look down, feeling guilty. I promised him forever, but what happened to forever? It vanished. I approach him, hug him, kiss him, hold him tightly, but he can't feel me.
I see the light behind us, a tunnel opening up, and I know that this will be our last moment together forever. Never again will I see him, nor will he see me. So, I take his hands in mine, though I know he cannot feel me, and I kiss him gently, though I know he doesn't notice. I stroke his cheek. It's going to be okay, I whisper, but it comes out distortedly, silently, almost, hollow, and I know he didn't hear me. It's as if I'm not here in front of him from his view. But I am. Not in his world, in mine. I am beside him, drying his tears, kissing him, loving him forever like I promised to. I fear the worst as he crashes to his knees, and for the first time, I see him pray. It's only then that I realize truely and fully that he needs me. The way his family is, his mother and father, both dead, his sister, a drug addict, and his brother imprisoned, I know I am all he has. Or had.
His eyes are clouded behind a hazy fog, his face expressionless and blank, but the tears continue to roll down his face, and the choked sobs ommitted from his throat are all that is audible in his world. I don't want this! I scream. I don't want any part of this! Just kill me already! Why are you doing this?! I scream at no one, once again, silently. It's an odd scream. Shrill, but silent. The loudest sound I've ever heard.
I want out! I scream, I want out! I want out! I want out! Over and over and over again, but nothing changes. I look down at the red rose on the ground. I pick it up and carress its petals gently, as if it were the neck of my violin. Tears spill from my eyes, now, too, and I watch him stand.
At first, I question this. What are you doing? My eyes go to his hand, and I see the gun. It's loaded. No! NO! DAVID, NO! NO! My screams don't do anything. My yanking back his arm doesn't, either. Let me out! Let me OUT! DAVID! David, NO! NO! But he draws the gun closer to his head. Closes his eyes...
I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE! I WILL NEVER EVER BE TRUELY HAPPY WITH DAVID GONE! I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THIS STATE! IF HE DIES, I WANT TO DIE BESIDE HIM, HAND IN HAND! IF HE DIES, I DIE! LET ME LIVE! LET ME LIVE! DAVID, NO! NO, PLEASE, PLEASE! PLEASE! NO! NO!
There is an odd golden glow. David is still there, though he has dropped the gun. "E...Eva..." he whispers, grabbing my face for support. "David! David, it's me!" David doesn't respond. "Eva...E...va...E..." he goes silent. "David?" I ask. "David?" Firmer and louder. No response. His body is limp. Finally, he coughs. "Eva...you're..." I look at his side, which is bleeding heavily, as if from a gunshot. I realize I'm too late. "You're an angel...we're both...together...angels..." tears cascade down my face. I swallow hard, knowing he couldn't be any more wrong. "E..." he never finishes the last part of my name.
