Starting Over

Two

Her jaw clenched, eyes turning into a deeper brown, but never leaving his. "Nothing. Happened," she said through clenched teeth.

Sean stood so abruptly, unashamed at his nudity, that made Kaycee stagger back. She was breathing hard through her nose, chest heaving as she controlled her emotions. Her breath hitched as her back pressed on the wall, with the man staring at her hard. She swallowed as she challenged him back with her glare.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Kayc," Sean said, his voice firm.

"I will," she gritted.

Sean's stare hardened at her stubbornness. "You'd eat your meals, drive your car, take your shower and go to bed tonight with your body remembering how I filled you again and again, how my fingers and tongue touched you everywhere," he said, stepping into the last space between them. "Then try to convince yourself that nothing fucking happened."

A shiver ran through her with his words.

If she had changed, so did he. He wasn't the sweet and gentle Sean that she knew; the Sean who always spoke with beautiful, assuring words. The Sean who cared and loved her with everything that she is.

Everything that happened that morning, even in a blur, was far from gentle and sweet. Now, he spoke with filth that shot tingles to her spine. 

And he doesn't care and love her anymore. He had stopped loving her years ago.

Sean knew he was heading the wrong track. He had to talk to her about what happened, about them. But her mere presence, her proximity, her defiance drove him mad, unthinking, crazy. It had been like that with her since day one –losing his mind when it comes to her smile and laughter, to her touch. It didn't help that she was completely different from the Kaycee he knew.

He stared right into her eyes –those eyes that haunted him even in his sleep. He had woken up to those captivating pools for as long as he can remember, lighting up when her smile reached her eyes as she murmured a soft good morning. But now it looked at him with contempt, maybe even with loathing –like he was the biggest mistake she made in her entire life.

"Kaycee, please –"

Now it was her turn to scoff, rolling her eyes as she turned away, heading for the door.

"You had your fill, Sean. I bet you're ecstatic right now. That's what you always want, right?" she said, shaking her head. "Now shut up about it. I don't want Tahani and the others to know," she said, before she went for the door.

But his hand stopped the door, slamming it shut. She turned to meet his eyes. He was getting mad again.

"I had my fill?" he asked, incredulous. "You had your fill. This is what you do now, right, Kayc?" he said, laughing sarcastically.

Now, it was her turn to step up to him, glaring right into his eyes, her own eyes burning. Her heart was banging dangerously against her ribs, her lungs on fire as she forced herself to breathe.

"At least I do it when I'm not fucking engaged," she said, her voice almost trembling.

She stepped back, watching how his eyes transformed –tortured.

Good, she thought.

It was nothing compared to the hell she went through.

She exited the room without looking back, not witnessing the tears that poured from his eyes.

*****

She dragged a breath as she pressed herself against the door as she entered her house, softly banging a fist on her side weakly as she tried with all her might not to cry.