The Puppet on the Strings

I Am Thou

My body feels cold, but also like it's on fire. What do I want to be? My answer is gone now. I feel like nothing.

"You're just a child. You don't know anything."

The voice is familiar. I shut my eyes tightly, covering my ears. What do I want to be? What am I now?

"I'm a hypocrite. I ask for help but feel I don't deserve it," I mutter. "I'm alone and stupid... and I don't have friends because I don't think they cared..."

A tear rolls down my cheek. "Nobody cares. I'm wrapped up in this because I let Akira care. I never really cared about him. I wanted to be friends to stop feeling so alone..."

My body feels constrained. I look down, my arms pinned to my sides by strings. The figures of my parents lift me off the ground.

"Don't say stuff like that!" Ann's voice rings out. "You're not the only person who thinks like that! You're not alone anymore!"

I look behind me, Akira removing his mask. "I'm not going to let my friend think she's nothing but a burden!"

My shadow looks up, knife in hand. "I don't deserve to live like this." She looks down, knife falling. "I barely want to live..."

It's all true. I don't want to feel so tangled anymore. I don't want to feel controlled. I don't want to live with my guilt.

"But I do want to fix myself..."

The strings become loose, my body beginning to fall to the ground. When I land, a dagger falls beside me. I look towards Akira, his arm out and his hand now empty. He smiles at me, placing his mask back on his face. 

"I'm going to fix myself for once." I grab the dagger, running towards the stage. My shadow grabs the knife she dropped, swiping it near my face as I approach. Her strings are still around her limbs, the figures of my parents still moving her. I grip her arm, slicing through the string. It falls to the ground, lighting up before disappearing. My shadow looks at me, her face hard to read.

The knife, now aimed at my wrist, slices upwards to cut off the string on their arm. 

"Now that you wish to set us free, let us form a contract."

Her eyes turn purple, my brain feeling like it is pounding into my skull. I fall to my knees, looking up at my shadow. 

"Whilst thou denied the world, many hath forsaken what you truly desire. Freedom is but a word many do not strive for. With my strength, thou shall finally fight for thy own reason."

"I am thou. Thou art I." From my blurred vision, I can see the strings on her ankles untangling themselves. 

"Thy will to fight shall stem from thy own belief. No more lies. No more chains to hold thy back. With my power, thou shall aid those who cannot aid themselves to thy own truth!"

My head feels fuzzy, but my vision feels true. "I can't ignore myself anymore. I'm me, the shame and the hope!" I look up at the figures of my parents, who have stopped moving. 

"I'll believe what I want and fight for the people I care about. I won't blame others for my own problems, but I'll fix myself the only way I should!"

I look to my shadow, which is engulfed in a purple and black aura. "I won't waste my chance at this fight. I can promise that."

The shadow smiles softly, their form changing. Their hair is let down, hiding their human ears and cat-like ears forming on top of their head. The appearance of the body looks like a woman's body, with wide hips and a purple heart stamped in the middle of its chest. Around its neck is a purple collar, a chain connected to the collar. Purple gloved hands grip the chain tightly. Their eyes change into a more feline appearance. The dress on it looks tighter, purple leggings covering what would be exposed if only wearing a dress. Its facial features are obscured by a black mask, a purple glow emitting from the eye-holes.

"Thank you..." 

I smile shyly in response, the shadow becoming a bright light before vanishing. When I look to see where it could have gone, I notice my outfit has changed. 

Over my eyes is a purple cloth, eye-holes cut into them. I have a black hoodie on, the hood over my hair. What keeps the hood in place is my ponytail coming out the back, stuck in place. Over my hoodie is a long, black leather jacket similar to Akira's, purple vines adorning the back from my coattails up to the neck of the jacket. I have on black leggings with gray pointed boots, a scythe tucked into a strap on the back of the jacket. When I reach towards my new clothes, there is now a pair of purple gloves over my hands.

"Strange..." I mutter to myself, looking back at the others. I jump off the stage, my body now matching the height of my surroundings. Akira, Ann, Ryuji, and the cartoonish cat now at a normal height as well.  Ryuji was sitting on top of a seat, Ann standing on her feet as well as Akira, and the cat now looks exactly like Morgana, sitting on Joker's shoulder. 

"I hate to ruin the moment, but we need to leave," Morgana's voice states.

Before I have time to react, the ground starts shaking. A shrill scream makes me cover my ears. The figures behind me are screeching and crumbling, large pieces of debris nearly crushing us. I jump off the stage, the four of us running towards the door. Akira is holding his phone, rapidly pressing the screen. When we approach the doors, they open, a white light blinding me.