Angelic (Book 2)

Thirteen

            I swallowed hard, pushing myself up to a sitting position. It was unbelievably difficult. “I’ll make him unhappy,” I said. “Don’t you see? Everybody I care about dies. Everybody. And that’s just a fact. Just a fact I’ve come to accept.”        

            Even as I spoke Blake was shaking his head. “You can’t really believe that, Ellie.”

            “It’s true. I do.”

            “No.”

            “Why are you so insistent on this happening, anyway?” I questioned, hugging a pillow to my chest. “What do you care?”

            “Because it means the rest of us will be okay.”

            Now I was just confused. “Huh?”

            “Jeez, Ellie, you really can be dense sometimes.” He chuckled softly, calming his rising emotions. “It’s so hard to find . . . companionship, in this world. The good kind. It’s hard to find people to depend on, and people you know for a fact you would die for in a heartbeat. It’s just difficult, especially considering our situations. It was just reassuring, El, that someone like you and someone as broken and messed up as August could have something.”

            I didn’t know what to say to that. Apology seemed wrong. No answer seemed adequate. There was just silence following his explanation, forcing me to think about everything.

            “Or, that’s how we view it,” Blake added, scratching the back of his neck. He stood. “Anyway, Ryan needs me. Something about a Prophet sighting, so we’re gonna go check it out. You hungry or anything?”

            “No.”

            “Okay. Jessica’s out doing the December shopping, so it’ll just be you. Hang tight, okay?”

            “Okay.”

            “And do me a favor; think about what I said.”

            I nodded. “Sure, Blake.”

            He leaned in and deposited an affectionate kiss to the top of my head before disappearing out of sight. The house became quiet with me as the only occupant. And I wasn’t a generally loud person, anyway. There was just the ticking of the clock on the wall, and the rustling trees outside, and the loudness inside my head.

            Take a step with Augie, they all told me to do. Take a chance. It’s worth it.

            How did they know that, though? How did they know it would be worth it in the end? Everybody I dared let worm their way into my heart ended up six feet under the ground.

            At times like this, I really did wish I had my mother. My biological mother. Someone who could guide me and make sense of everything. Someone who could take the load off my shoulders once in a while.

            August would do that. You know he would.

            “Aargh,” I growled, flopping my head back. I just needed to stop thinking about him. I needed to stop.

            So much easier said than done.

            I rolled off the couch and shuffled up the stairs, intent on going to my room and the comfort of my bed, but for some reason my feet stopped outside August’s. I’d been in there once, when we just arrived at the safe house and he was recovering from the bullet to the chest. Just the memory sent a shiver down my spine. I didn’t know what I would do if I had lost him. If my one true, steadfast ally hadn’t come back . . .