𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 » peter parker

; 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

PETER was out once again, checking to see if Lillian was okay from a distance. He always had to keep his distance with her. It was the least he could do to actually keep her safe from being endangered because of him. Instead of actually doing patrol, he kept an eye on her only to make sure she didn't need any saving. Sure what he was doing to himself was torture, but it was the only closest thing to being near her.

He sat himself on top of a building near their shared apartment building, admiring Lillian from afar as she was standing outside of her small balcony. She looked beautiful. She was entirely breathtaking just standing there whilst taking in the nighttime scenery of Queen. He could feel his breath hitch in his throat once he took notice of her looking around. He took a few steps back as he hid in the shadows, still watching over her.

He watched as she mumbled something to herself whilst wiping her face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt she had on. He lips slightly tugged upward at the girl he still loves and cares for wearing the sweatshirt he gave her one day when she got cold at his place for a movie night. He remembered that night fully well, too. It was the day Lillian had shown up at his place out of the blue because she had terrible day that day. She never told him why it was a terrible day for her because for her the reasoning was stupid.

But to Peter, any terrible day she had was a bad day for him because he didn't like seeing her upset when she should be happy. That day, they spent all night in his room watching her favorite Disney movies. During that night of movies and cuddles, he felt Lillian shivering and he immediately gave her one of his sweatshirts to keep her warm. Boy, when she put on his sweatshirt. She looked the most beautiful and content and in that moment he felt like the world had stopped and it was just the two of them; he missed those moments so much.

His smile soon faded once he realized that she had been crying. It took everything in him to not swing over there and make sure she was okay. He also noticed how she had shut her eyes and took deep breaths repeatedly to calm herself. He watched as she checked her surroundings once again whilst pulling her arms closer to her chest before going inside her bedroom window.

He sighed quietly to himself, glancing at where Lillian once was before he made his way home without being notice by Lillian. Peter snuck into his bedroom window and closed his door after he successfully entered his room quietly. He changed to some sweats and a loose shirt then going to the kitchen to get something to eat. He immediately goes to the fridge, opening it to find anything he would actually enjoy eating.

"What's wrong?" Peter bumped his head against the fridge, startled at the sound of his aunt May's voice.

He winced in slight pain as he gently rubbed his head after closing the fridge. He turned to face May, "Other than me just hitting my head not too long ago, nothing's wrong. I'm just really tired, May." He reassured.

May sighed, giving her nephew a knowingly glance. "You can't lie to me, Peter. I'm gonna find out sooner or later." Her arms crossed against her chest whilst she waited for him to spit out the truth.

"Really, May." He let out a small sigh, "It's nothing." He brushed her off as he made his way to his room.

May looked at her nephew with sympathetic eyes, "Does this have to do with you not being with Lilly? Y'know because of the whole..?" She trailed off, not really wanting to press into a sensitive subject. But she was worried about her nephew.

Peter turned around to face his aunt once again. He shook his head whilst letting out an airy chuckle, "No, no." He tried to convince himself. "I'm not good for her... She- She deserves better." He spoke quietly, giving his aunt a forced tight lipped smile.

May shook her head in disapproval, "Peter Benjamin Parker, if there's one thing you are, it's good." She reminded, giving him a soft smile.

He laughed lightly, giving her a small thankful nod, "Thanks, May... but I can't have her around me when my life is too dangerous for her." He shook his head. "It's best if I'm not with her. I don't want to live in constant worry that someday she could become a target because of me." He spoke, letting all of his feelings go as his eyes brimmed up with tears.

May sighed in understanding, "Sweetie, if anything... I think she's more worried about you being in danger rather herself being the one in danger. I can see the way she deeply cares for you by the way she helps you with your spider-enemies."

Peter's eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head, "But she has nothing to be worried about."

"Yes she does, honey. I even get worried." She pointed out. "Every time you come home late or when you skip school, I worry that something terrible has happened. I'm pretty sure Lilly can say the same. She worries because she cares and loves you. If she didn't worry, then she wouldn't care, Peter." She stated truthfully with a small shrug. "She loves you for you. I think that should count for something." She spoke softly before leaving Peter alone to his thoughts as she goes to her room to go to sleep.

Peter sighed, knowing that his aunt was definitely right. Stuck in his thoughts, he slowly made his way to his room. He closed his bedroom door after him before making his way to his bed as he plopped himself onto his bed. His eyes fluttered closed whilst running his hands over his face. He contemplated on going over to Lillian's, knowing he probably shouldn't.

He deeply wanted to make sure that she was doing okay, just wanting to hear her voice for his own selfish reasons. Asking her friends how she was doing just simply wasn't enough for him. He missed the sound of her angelic voice, her glowing smile, her beautiful bright eyes, and the warmth that radiated off her skin whenever he was near her. He missed everything about her in general. He wanted her back dearly.

He also knew the promised he made to Lillian's mother. He remember promising Leila that he would keep Lillian safe. He also promised that he would keep her out of his dangerous life. That was the promise he intended to keep, but also wanted to break even more each day.

Peter groaned lightly, removing his hand from his face as he looked over his clock that sat on his nightstand. He sighed, seeing that it was already late but pulled out his phone anyway. He unlocked his phone, going onto his messages as he looked through his texts with Lillian. He smiled softly to himself in reminiscence as his thumbs hovered over the small keyboard on the screen. He looked at his screen, now contemplating about sending a text to Lillian, but sighed in defeat once he saw that it was two in the morning.

He locked his phone, placing his phone on his nightstand as he thought it was probably for the best. He kept reminding himself that she was better off without him as he lied in bed, trying to go to sleep.

- :: -

( author's note :
idk how many chapters i actually
have left... but it's almost coming to
an end n thats all i gotta say,, other
than that tysm for 1.6k reads ilyyyy )