Prologue

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Kalathan. Still, when I say the name of my country my heart swells. What is it, that makes me love the land of my birth? How can a land, an inanimate land, inspire such loyalty and fierce devotion in me? There was a time when Kalathan tried to bury people like me, a time when I was worth less than nothing and was robbed of both my dignity and my freedom. I only have to look down at the mark on my wrist to remember. But then, there was a time when Kalathan needed me, a time when I had a choice: save yourself or save your land. I chose Kalathan.

I picture the deep, dark forests, the fertile plains, the great river that runs determinedly past the city towards the great lake in the south. I imagine the desolate mountains in the north east, and the vast arid desert beyond them. I see the people, tasselled and embroidered scarves adorning their weathered faces, wrapping themselves in furs against the bitter winter winds, mirrored beads tinkling from the doorways of houses and tents in a summer breeze.

It is a different devotion to the one I have felt as I have gazed at my children after they were put into my arms for the first time, different to the love I have felt for my dear husband as we have walked through life together, as I have watched the hair at his temples turn to grey, as we clasp hands before each meal, our fingers no longer smooth and strong as they were in those early days together. It is different to the love and gratefulness I have to God who has made everything what it is, even Kalathan itself – Kalathan in a way is all of my loves, together. It is home, the source and the beginning of the people I love, it is God's beautiful creation. It is life, sustenance; it is belonging. It is purpose, for me perhaps more than for others who love this land as I do.

Kalathan is a shadow, I believe, of a land that awaits the faithful beyond the borders of mortality. I once thought I was sacrificing everything for Kalathan, but in the end there was mercy; Kalathan has given me more, far more than I gave up.

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