Moving Through The Waves

Six

So, so SO sorry for the wait beautiful people 💙💙💙
Thank you so much to Ashleighmitch18 and Sgt_Pepper1998 you guys keep this story alive 😍😍😍

The thing with Anxiety?
People can't just distract you from it, no matter how much they love you and want to be able to.
The closer we got to the Reef Bay Police Station, the worse my symptom's became.
I now had tingling palm's, a tight chest, my heart beating like it was trying to get out of my body, ringing ear's and the strong urge to use a bathroom.
Zander was asking me question's about my day and trying to tell me about his, but the mostly one sided conversation was like white noise in my ear's.
"Bailey?"
I stared at the road, trying hard to focus on my breathing.
Before I knew it, the grey bitumen was a blur before my eyes as the car swerved to the left hand side.
I jolted upright in my seat, heart pounding.
The click of a seat belt to my right made me snap my head around to find Zander half climbing out of the driver's seat.
"What are you doing?"
I squeaked, pulse racing.
"Why'd we stop?"
We weren't at the Police Station yet.
I couldn't even see the building in the distance.
"Are you okay?"
Zander asked, unmistakable concern coating his voice and filling his dark blue eyes.
I started to nod, desperate to be strong enough, but immediately I knew that lying to Zander wasn't fair, so after I'd bobbed my head down once and started to bring it back up, I let the fresh round of tear's bombard my eyes and vigorously shook my head.
"Bail's you don't have to do this."
Zander insisted, his voice little more than a whisper.
"I'm scared, but I do have to."
I croaked, a few warm tear's splashing onto my cheek's.
"You don't have to if it's upsetting you this much."
Zander insisted, his left hand itching forward like he wanted to touch me, but wasn't sure that he should.
Six week's ago Zander wouldn't have hesitated to pull me out of my seat and over the centre console to hug me.
You're tainted now.
That evil little voice in the back of my mind sneered.
"I do have to."
I whispered, blinking against my tear blurred vision.
"Bec-because i-If I d-don't..."
I swallowed hard, hating how difficult it was to get the word's out.
"Give yourself a minute."
Zander reasoned.
"We don't have to rush."

I spotted the sign for the Toilet's barely ten feet inside the Cop Shop entrance and bolted for the bathroom.
The experience was a bit messy, but I knew from past experiences that it was because the nerves about what I had to do were getting the best of me.
I washed my hands with soap and warm water and stared at my reflection in the large mirror above the twin sink's.
The Girl that stared back at me was familiar, yet totally foreign.
Her nearly white blonde hair, blue eyes, dainty nose and dark pink lips belonged to Bailey Grace Evans-Harley.
But the haunted look in the blue eyes didn't belong to the Girl I'd grown up as.
The blue reflected deep pain.
A shattered heart.
The struggle she was battling to keep up the will to fight to win.
The bathroom door hissed open behind me and I nearly jumped out of my skin.
I grabbed the rim of the sink, the alternative flashing before my eyes.
I envisioned my knee's buckling, my chin colliding with the sink's rim and blood spurting everywhere.
My lung's so tight that my forced inhale came out shaky, I gripped the sink rim so hard my knuckles rapidly started to turn white.
Inch by inch, I lifted my gaze back to the mirror to check who was behind me.
I half expected Zander to have stormed his way into the Womens' bathroom to check on me.
Zander of six week's ago would've without a single qualm.
A Woman in a Police uniform stared at the mirror.
Her eyes were unwavering, gaze focused, jaw tight and lip's nowhere near smiling, but not scowling either.
She was the picture of an Officer, not showing any emotion, but managing to omit a 'don't even think about it' aura.
My entire body shaking like a leaf as I exhaled, I pulled my gaze from the mirror and yanked two sheet's of paper towel out of the dispenser.
I turned to dump the paper into the open bin and found no sign of the Officer.
Surely I didn't imagine her arrive-
Movement from behind the only closed door of the two stall bathroom made my chest ease marginally.
I didn't imagine her.
She's on the toilet.
I hurried to the heavy, dark blue door and hauled it open.
Zander will think I've fallen in if I don't hurry up and get back out.