Twisted Tales

Mother Holle

It was several minutes of not particularly difficult walking to find the source of the cries.

More to my resignation than surprise, I saw it was an apple tree, laden with beautiful, fat, glossy ripe apples.

"Oh, shake me, shake me!" the tree cried when I got near it. "My apples are all ripe! It's time for them to come down!"

"And this absolutely couldn't wait?" I ask the tree, going to stand right under its green branches and looking up at the red apples above.

"They are too heavy! Look at how my poor branches are bending under their weight! But they just won't let go!" The tree gave a little quiver of distress; or perhaps it was just the wind.

I sighed. "Okay, okay, I'll help. But seriously, I've got to go after this, I've got friends who are going to start worrying if I don't get back."

"Oh thank you, thank you!" said the little tree with relief.

"So what do I do? Just give you a shake?"

"If you must. If you don't want the apples bruised, you must pick them gently. And they [i]are[/i] wonderful apples, if I say so myself. Juicy and crisp, perfect for eating raw AND for baking!" The tree's tone was bursting with pride.

"Well, I don't think I'm going to be able to eat a couple hundred apples, let alone carry them all," I told it. "I'm afraid I'll have to just leave them all on the ground where they fall."

The tree gasped in horror. "That's such a dreadful waste!"

"I could take a couple, I guess," I relented. Apples for breakfast, then. And lunch. And probably dinner too.

"You'll wish you could take them all once you've had a taste!"

"Okay, okay, it's getting a little weird now," I muttered. I went up to the tree's trunk and gave it a tentative push. It didn't move very much, but it wasn't a large tree. I moved my hands up a little higher and gave a firmer shove. Leaves rustled above me, and three apples came tumbling down, nearly smacking me on the head as they went.

"Yes! Just like that!" the tree sighed in relief. "That feels so good!"

"Just stop talking, you're making it creepy." I shook the tree until my arms aches and almost all of the apples had fallen. I got whacked in the head multiple times; and once I made the mistake of looking up to see my progress, just in time for a particularly hefty sucker to smack me right in the face. My nose and cheek bone were still sore, and I was pretty sure I had black eye.

"Oh, I can't tell you how much better that feels!" cried the tree, rustling its branches joyfully. "A great weight has been lifted from my boughs! I am in your debt!"

"Don't worry about it," I replied shortly, rubbing my face tenderly. "If that's all, then—"

"Oh," said the tree, it's tone suddenly plaintive. "But look at all these apples scattered all over the ground. My goodness, it's so untidy, isn't it?"

I felt a twitch starting up in my good eye. "I think it looks fine. And it's probably good for the earth, isn't it? All those nutrients going back into the ground as they decompose."

"But it just looks so messy!"

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose; and then immediately regretted it as a flash of pain made me wince.

"Okay, okay. Fine." I gathered all of the apples and piled them up near the base of the tree. There were a lot of them, and it took another ten or fifteen minutes. I was starting to get a bit anxious now; both Erik and Jack were early risers, and I was sure they'd be awake and wondering where I'd got to any time now.